Random Advice Type #11: What To Do When You Are Overwhelmed?

I admit I don’t vacuum as much as I should. I grew up with parents who vacuumed every week. They cooked meals each night. I didn’t take after them by any means, which is a shame in a way. I hate cooking and find nothing relaxing about it. I wish I liked to cook more. I don’t mind baking once a while. I’m the first one to change the TV station to something non-cooking or non-house related when it’s on in the break room where I work. This is not what overwhelms me although if I committed to vacuuming, I probably wouldn’t have found three spiders in the apartment. I find myself unable to slow my mind at times and based on my recurrent dreams and inability to fall asleep right away, it all points to higher stress levels than normal. I try to keep my emotions in check even though my current situation puts me closer to the edge of unreason some days when I let my mind get away from me. I’m sort of in the middle of the pack these days. I’ve dealt with PTSD and bouts of depression for a large part of my life although I’ve made great strides to keep it in check the last 15 years. I still feel a little uncomfortable stating this, my vulnerability, and much it has to do with from the way I was raised. I always hate bringing this up and wish it wasn’t so ingrained into my personality, but it’s very real because that is how I survived. Even though I was very young, I was taught and learned early to remain a stone.

What should you do when you are feeling overwhelmed? I suppose it differs on what kind of overwhelming you are feeling. There are different reasons why people feel this way. I’m sure there are tens of hundreds, if not thousands of reasons, but whatever they are, the first thing to do is to try your best to get out of the severity and intensity of the funk you are feeling. Certain people would tell me go for a walk or write in a journal as a way to get through these overwhelming feelings. The last thing I wanted to do was go for a walk or jog or run. I would probably throw my iPod across the room because I was so pissed off. The biggest relief, if you could call it that, was venting whether it be in my journal or talking to my mom because she’s one the few people who can listen to me complaining about my life. There are valid reasons to be brutally honest with why you are overwhelmed. Once I am done with venting and writing in my journal, which usually amounts to identifying my problems (easily done) and how to solve them (somewhat easily done) although taking the steps is much harder.

Another hard thing for me to do is changing my perspective on the situation and the actions I take in order to get my desired results. I start to look at the unknown in where I might end up in six months to a year (or less if I’m feeling very confident that day) as a challenge, as an opportunity, as a way to grow because it helps me not feel so hopeless. I’ve never wanted to be stuck in life and worse, feel completely stuck in life, but sometimes it happens, and you feel it all over your body. There’s a line between having success and getting some rewards for your hard work and having nothing good happen to you in more than a year’s time. This is where many people are in life right now. I would bet my hands on it. Here we are still breathing and trying to make tomorrow just as good or better. Reading a book from someone you’ve never read before is good too if you like to read especially if it has funny parts in it. The humor allows you to step away from your overwhelming issues and escape into a different world/perspective. The other parts of the book should be teaching you something new and if not that, then entertaining you.

The bottom line is you have to work through the funk, maybe several times, maybe a lot more than you want to be doing. You have to do it anyway or else you will give up and if you do give up, fine but circle around and give it another try. I can tell you with complete honesty I have been in the darkest of the dark night and reached maybe not the highest of the skies, but that is a part of human life. Minimizing our humanity including our faults does nothing good for anyone. Shaming someone is one of the worst solutions you can do to someone (an example is telling the person to snap out of it). If what I said doesn’t make sense, there is always throwing darts in a bar (if that’s your thing). Just don’t drive intoxicated. No one needs that kind of headache unless you like spending your money and having your license revoked.

Random Calendar Info #31

Filet mignon steaks are tender but not as flavorful as other steaks.

Helen Skelton traveled 2,010 miles through Brazil by kayak.

Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin were three world leaders during WWII.

The Hobbit was first published in 1937 by J.R.R. Tolkien.

A meteor is a chunk of material that plunges into Earth’s atmosphere, a meteoroid is a chunk of material that burns while still in space, and a meteorite is a smaller piece of material survives through the atmosphere and reaches the ground.

The American Professional Football Association was formed in 1920 and renamed National Football League in 1922.

A lake is defined as a body of water surrounded by land.

The world’s first billionaire was John D. Rockefeller, the oil tycoon in the U.S.

The fastest orbiting planet is Mercury.

Largest bonsai tree nursery is in Mississippi.

More than 1,000 nuclear test explosions happened in the Nevada deserts between 1951 and 1992.

The tallest railway station called Tanggula in Tibet is 16,627 feet/5,068 meters above sea level.

Journal Entry Type #145: So Are The Days Of Our Lives but This Isn’t A Soap Opera But Real Life

For some reason since I lost my job prior to the one I currently have, I’ve been going up and down the rungs of a ladder called life. You could say many things remind me of the hardships in life. Ever since I can remember I thought my life would be difficult because a part of my childhood was that word and more (pre and post-adoption for different reasons) but now I don’t want it to be so. A long time ago I watched a TV special on Madonna that chronicled her life up to the breakthrough album that catapulted her into the music world and made her a household name. Not many singers can hold an audience that long and be relevant over time and go by one name. Of course, Prince and Beyonce hold the title. The thing is she didn’t listen to her manager or someone else close to her who gave her advice saying she wasn’t ready for the big leagues yet and to wait a few more years. She didn’t listen to the person and the rest is history.

I’m at the point in my life where no matter what the time, it isn’t perfect to do anything whether it be selling my creations or writing my second story. I either think I’m not in the right mindset which I’m not really because I’m trying to change my current situation and make it better (money wise) and it’s hard to think creatively and be creative when your financial situation has taken a downturn. I’m not saying I’m living on the streets, but let’s just say I miss my old job in some respects. It’s crazy how a little pulling on a wrench can loosen your attitude about things. I’ve come to the conclusion despite needing my needing a new filling for one of my molars among needing to go the dentist for the dreaded cleaning that I’m looking at finding a new job as a challenge. I realize before I even applied, I was thinking very negatively about the situation and feeling less than hopeful of ever moving out of this situation.

Some say there’s nothing you can’t handle that God presents you and others that say bad shit happens for sometimes no reason at all. I fall somewhere in the middle because without some kind of positive feelings and thoughts, there is nothing to live for. Seriously, nothing much to live for without knowing there is something more powerful than yourself whether it be a higher power or motive or reason. I’m almost done reading my Kurt Vonnegut book and while I disagree with some of his thoughts and opinions, I will say much of what he says is real and true and worthy to read. I keep saying the next year will be better, but it won’t unless there’s a combination of hard work and discipline (in my case to get a new job and lose weight and finish my second story and sell my artwork) and if one out of the four happens, I’ll be still here and have to face the fact I’m average.

Yet, I’m aiming higher regarding the end of this year into next year because I’m not giving myself the best probability of winning what I most want in life which is more financial security and more overall balance. These are the things that will make me happy. These are the things that will make me feel good about myself. These are the things that give me purpose to keep moving even though I’m not so much now. I’m not looking to be the next Madonna or in my case the next George R.R. Martin, but some kind of change would be nice. I don’t need millions of dollars to feel rewarded in life, but some of you know what I mean about not staying up at night because of the insecurities you faced. I’m sick of waiting and thinking about what might happen. I just need to do it even though when it comes to writing, it takes MAJOR TIME! I’d rather try and fail than not try and fail regarding other parts of my life. If not now, then when? I end with three statements. One from Kurt Vonnegut, one from Charles Kettering, and one from me.

Kurt Vonnegut: I’m a space wanderer named Kurt.

Charles Kettering: Failing is one of the greatest arts in the world.

Me: I’m an Earth dweller name Kim that has failed and also succeeded.

One more thing, I saw a few puzzles I really wanted but didn’t buy them because of my situation. First of all, I don’t need more freaking puzzles. I recently got a new Apple TV to replace my old one. It’s pretty awesome. I truly end with a small puzzle that was harder than it looked. I don’t drink wine and I should eat way less cheese, but it gives you good pairing suggestions other than cheese. I used to work with someone who wanted to have a winery and sell cheese too. Maybe, I could hang my art in there. A girl can dream, right?

Flash Fiction: Getting the Message

I thought of this idea as a short story or something I’d like to incorporate into a novel idea. I’ve been floating this around my head for some time and while it never really came out the way I liked on paper, one that made it understandable, I decided to post it anyway. It’s sort of two ideas wrapped into one and sort of a book exercise where you just write an interior monologue. I did that in my journal and didn’t like it too much as my mind wandered and the end of amounted to smelly trash from an equally smelly trash can. The premise is an angel wanting to communicate with a living human being but not being able to reach him or her (haven’t decided yet who the person is in terms of sex or maybe it doesn’t matter). The angel has had some major failures at redemption when a mortal being so in a way the angel is trying to make amends for past mistakes. Obviously, it’s not all sorted out but again, it’s only a book exercise (sort of).

I come from an extensive list of fallen angels, once fallen people, once fallen enemies, but all of them considered useless and worthy of unmarked graves in the end of their mortal lives. There is wisdom I can depart to all of you, those who will listen to me, those who don’t think of me as a ghost wanting to hurt them, but my remaining senses I have are for one person only. The problem is the person only take my advice halfway and discards the rest when life doesn’t hand her what she wants and what she thinks she deserves. She has the power, advantage, and intellect to have it all, but she is scared. She is fearful and anxious. She believes she is not ready when she is fully capable and more than ready to take the plunge off the hesitant cliff. There is not an option of failure for her even though she believes failure will occur. The chances of failure are so slim that it would take a mighty fuck up to screw all the arduous work she has put into her blood, sweat, and tears. She is stronger than she thinks. Life is not sliding backward for her. She has to open her eyes and see what it is that is in front of her and that is opportunity, growth, and excellence. I must not have her follow the path I did when I was mortal. I do not want her to make the same mistakes I did when I could taste life in a different kind of way. I want her to know I am always with her, no matter what, no matter where, and no matter how much she stops believing in herself. I will always be around.

Before my life after death, I was a breathing man with needs and wants. I had dreams of influencing people around the world. I couldn’t imagine the ways one can spread information around when I was alive. All information moves so quickly and quietly all hours of the day and night. One doesn’t need to ride a horse to carry a message or rely on trusted confidant to pass a message to another trusted person. All you need are your fingers to type or vocal cords to speak. Hit record and there is someone behind it trying to influence you whether good or bad. I thought I had good advice to give but now I understand why I was born to begin with. My existence wasn’t to offer my own advice to others but to have someone more worthy with a better way of translating my messages to the world. The only problem is back then was a simpler time compared to the present time. She must find her own voice, her own inspiration, her own messages to tell. The biggest gift I can give her is getting out of her way. I feel a part of her is drowning and she doesn’t know how to begin again when her reality is not mirroring the image she had in her head twenty years ago. The picture she has now doesn’t mirror the image she was meant to have and as people she once knew have already died, I’m afraid she is giving up a part of her life that used to mean something to her. She has lost that spark I often reminded her of when she was sleeping through a creature she knew to be her ally and while she was awake through spurts of energetic emotion passing through her like a positive current.

This is my first nugget of knowledge I departed to her and one she tends to forget because she allows her judgment to cloud her mind. Do not think you are smarter, braver, or better than the person sitting or standing next to you. The only person who matters when it comes to criticism is yourself. It is you who most harshly judges anyone. There is no one else more judgmental than you. Think of the example when you are standing in a lengthy line and waiting as patiently to check out or get your food. When you judge others around you, you are judging yourself. You think to yourself I’m fat but thank God I’m not as fat as that cow. I hate to tell you, but fat is fat. She might eat two large fries and two cheeseburgers in one meal, but you had two donuts the other day your waist did not need. Throw out the comparisons to others and the chill within your body out the window and embrace the softer side of the truth which is there is someone always prettier than you, smaller than you, smarter than you, faster than you, and more opinionated than you. Don’t be that person who makes it harder than yourself. Life was never supposed to be easy for anyone despite what you might see on the news or hear secondhand. No one is immune. Not the millionaire with the spoon stuck up his ass. Not the billionaire with the spoon further stuck up his ass. I once belonged until I lost.

I began this challenge, this journey, to shed light on a new kind of path she needs to walk. I can only guide her so far. She has ignored my prompts and symbols. I am hoping that is where people reading this will see beyond her physical self and see the mysteries she holds within her, the sparks she knows is there but is not brave enough to commit fully to seeing how tall they can really be.

Random Calendar Info #30

The largest countries include China, India, United States, Indonesia, and Pakistan.

The Trift Bridge in the Swiss Alps is 330 feet high or 100 meters from the valley floor.

Thomas Edison’s concrete homes were a failure in the early 1900s.

Sparky the dalmatian is the mascot of the National Fire Protection Association.

The tallest five buildings in Houston, Texas are the JP Morgan Chase Tower, Wells Fargo Plaza, Williams Tower, Bank of America Center, and Texaco Heritage Plaza.

Rafael Nadal won his first U.S. Open singles title in 2010.

Three gas planets are Jupiter, Saturn, and Neptune.

George R.R. Martin, writer and/or creator of Game of Thrones and House of the Dragon was born in 1948.

TV Show Recommendation: The Umbrella Academy (2019-2023)

I’m so glad The Umbrella Academy is coming back for another season. I was thinking the creators or Netflix can’t leave the ending like they did in the last episode of season three. While I had this in my queue forever and remember seeing the chimpanzee face that I later found out was named Pogo, once I started watching it, I kicked myself for not watching it sooner. I even rewatched some episodes because they were that good in terms of superhero material. What solidified it was the writing and acting of certain actors. The Hargreeves children, all seven of them, hold their own. A few of them stand out over the rest including Emmy Raver-Lampman as Allison, Robert Sheehan as Klaus, Rita Arya as Lila, Kate Walsh as The Handler, and Aidan Gallagher as Number Five. If you like alternate universes, sarcastic and snappy dialogue, and great facial impressions, this is the show for you.

I give The Umbrella Academy FOUR FINGERS and ONE THUMB at 100%

TV Mini-Series Documentary Recommendation: We Need to Talk about Cosby (2022)

It’s difficult to write and discuss about topics that most people find uncomfortable such as drugging women to take advantage of them. It’s even harder when the person involved whether it be a singer, movie star, or athlete is involved that many people once admired. I first learned about Bill Cosby through his successful TV show named after him. I watched it all the time when it originally aired. I loved every character in the show even after Lisa Bonet left. Despite his breakthrough performances and creativity, Bill Cosby is now either viewed as a predator that was once good or a trailblazer that did bad things. Comedians/talk show hosts either can’t forgive him such as Stephen Colbert or can separate the ugliness he did from his comedic genius like Jerry Seinfeld.

This documentary was an eye opener, not only because it dared to ask the most difficult questions, but the testimony and interactions from academia, survivors, and professionals. The director W. Kamau Bell was honest with own inner turmoil as many of us did when we learned that America’s father had done such vile things sexually and vocally. I learned of his desire to belittle people as much as talent to make a name for himself in Hollywood. I learned everything he worked so hard for as a young man will be erased by the predatory things he did while pretending his real life mirrored his family life. The stripping away of his awards, honorary degrees, memberships, and building names are small prices pay for his actions. While he probably still thinks he did nothing wrong, his victims, now survivors, are left to continue putting together their lives that were shattered to pieces. Whatever you think about Bill Cosby, he will be part of TV history, Black history, and tragic history.

I give We Need to Talk About Cosby FOUR FINGERS and ONE THUMB at 100%

September Writing Quotes

I recently picked up a book that I have yet to start because I’m busy with trying to write, read, color, and other interests of mine. You can pick it up at Barnes and Noble, but this is where I got these quotes.

Last Ten Movies I’ve Watched

I’ve watched more than ten movies, but these were the ones I decided to include. I’ve gotten back into writing a little bit and coloring too. Frankly, I’m trying to just do things to keep busy because I’m getting tired after getting enough sleep. I blame it on my autoimmune thing I’m dealing with and can’t wait for tomorrow because hopefully I’ll be able to start a new week in many ways.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) is the continuation of Sonic and his sidekick Tails as they do their best to defeat Dr. Robotnik. Idris Elba as Knuckles is a great addition to the cast. Jim Carrey as the evil Robotnik is some of the best casting ever. I would definitely recommend this movie to anyone, whether gamers or not, because it’s great entertainment.

Labor Day (2013) is where what’s on the outside isn’t what’s on the inside or don’t judge a book by what the cover looks like. This reminds me of stories where the supposed bad guy isn’t really all that bad and an unconventional relationship where everyone learns something by the end of it. I recommend this movie to anyone who likes a homemade baked pie.

The Big Year (2011) is about bird watch, which a lot of people don’t understand the attraction and excitement of it. While it has a good cast, the story has a good message and that is don’t put career before your family unless you’re willing to lose it. I recommend this movie to anyone who is a bird enthusiast and likes pretty colors.

Uncharted (2022) is a bona fide adventure movie where you’re not sure who the good or bad guys are (for those like me who know nothing about the game or story). I truly liked this movie not only for the action but non-Hollywood ending. I highly recommend this movie to anyone likes mystery and a good journey.

The Lost City (2022) is a story that deals with the reality and fantasy of romance. Sandra Bullock and Tatum Channing are hilarious. There’s nothing funnier than two characters trying to survive being lost in a jungle (unless it’s happening in real life). I would recommend this movie to anyone who wants to laugh from deep within their stomach.

Walk of Shame (2014) is a ridiculous movie, but it has enough funny scenes to make it worthwhile to finish. The story does have a good message at the end. I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes a typical comedy movie with a few laughs.

Mapplethorpe (2019) is a biopic about photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. It chronicles the relationship between Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe and his evolution of Mapplethorpe as an artist. I would recommend this to anyone who isn’t afraid to see male genitalia in an artistic way and already knows the story of Mapplethorpe.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022) is one where I was pleasantly surprised how good it was including the story and cinematography. The flying scenes were so great because of how it was shot in terms of angles. I loved the way they incorporated Val Kilmer’s character of Iceman into the story. I would recommend this to anyone who wants to see a good follow up to the 1986 original movie.

Sex Ed (2014) is an interesting movie in that while the story isn’t really complex or challenging, this is a coming-of-age story for a young teacher. While it does have commentary on the pros and cons of sex education (on which side you’re on), the parts of lewd behavior and language detracts from it. I’d recommend this movie to anyone who wants background noise while doing other things like washing the dishes.

Corky Romano (2001) if another stupid movie where the story is ridiculous. Some of the humor falls flat and the humor wasn’t even humorous back then when it was made. Chris Kattan wasn’t one of the funnier SNL cast over the years, but he’s funny enough. I’d recommend this movie to anyone who is a Kattan loyalist or likes a kooky mafia type movie.

Advice Type #10: Should You Name Your Children Unique Names?

I’ve been around enough people and worked enough jobs to know parents definitely name their children crazy, weird, and unique names. They name them after celebrities and stars they admire. They name them after fictional characters they like. They name them after athletes and musicians. I digress but the funniest sounding name for a dog I heard was Todd. I know a few Todds, but I’d pick a different name for a child. There really isn’t a funniest name for a person but I do think there are names you should not name your children such as Mary Pat or Harold. Call it a preference but I think Mary Pat sounds like she belongs in a nunnery and Harold belongs on a farm. There are old timey names with a nice ring to them and French names roll off the tongue nicely as well. There is a preference for me when choosing a name for any four- legged animal and use the same principle as I would if I was in charge of naming a human being.

First of all, because children are cruel even when they enter high school as teenagers, I would not use an unusual name as the first name unless it sounded absolutely beyond radically cool. The second thing I would do is express my originality in the second or third name. I wouldn’t do what Donald Sutherland did and give my child more than two middle names. There is nothing wrong with that but that tends to be a mouthful. Case in point: Kiefer William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland. Can you imagine filling that out each time you have a job interview? Good thing Kiefer’s career as a musician and actor is well-established that he doesn’t need to apply to a job every few years. The other thing to keep in mind is if the child doesn’t like the first name, s/he can use the second name instead if it’s decent. It’s good to give your child options.

I’m not particularly fond of my first name. It’s rather bland, which is good in some ways. It’s common too. I do think family name traditions passed down is nice such as using your first name as the middle name of your child. I also think changing your last name to a completely different name is good option when getting married. I’ve never really dug changing a person’s name when you get married. I get it as it’s tradition, but I know women whose identity remains their first and last name (despite it being their father’s last name). They don’t take their husband’s last name. I also know of couples who use both their last names and incorporate a hyphen in it. There are some who believe marriage is not that important and see their name as only a name. Is the person going to change once they get married and adopt a different last name? I’m not sure although divorce will never be a possibility if you never get married.

It’s the choice of the parent(s) to name his or her child whatever they desire although I would not name them after a fictional character no one’s going to recognize except a few. I would also not use spellings so obscure that people aren’t sure of the pronunciation. Sure, spelling your child’s name Madyson instead of Madison is fine although that name has been used way too many times now. However, just my personal taste I would stay away from names like Princess or Duchess for either people or four legged creatures. I would also not do what Frank Zappa did and bestow names such as Dweezil or Moon Unit to your children. Sure, middle names fine but first names? That’s just me. One of my pet peeves is naming your children after cities or state variations when you haven’t visited or have no history with name. Just saying. Whether you want to name your children after vegetables and fruit, great historical figures, or combine personality traits with your name, so be it with the realization there should be some names off limits. Here is a short list of names I would never use.

  1. Jeffrey because it reminds me of Dahmer.
  2. Adolf because everyone knows about Hitler.
  3. Vladimir because now everyone knows about Putin.
  4. North, South, East, West because it’s stupid.
  5. Ikea because it’s a store you browse and shop.
  6. 15693 because again this is stupid.
  7. Jesus, God, Allah or any variation because humans are mortal beings.
  8. Socrates because there can be only one.
  9. Gandalf because your child is not Sir Ian McKellan.
  10. Gizmo because your child is not a make-believe fuzzy creature.
  11. Eminem or M&M because it should be quite clear to you.
  12. Daenarys because it didn’t end well for her in the show adaptation.
  13. Kim because it’s too common and use your creative brain a little bit.

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