Advice Type #2: Should You Get Divorced?

I have never been married, not in this lifetime, and whether in a past life, well. probably. I bring this up because while I don’t plan on ever getting married, it still baffles me why people who get married then kill their husbands or wives because divorce isn’t an option. I’ve watched enough TV shows about crime to know you are more likely to get killed by someone you know than someone you don’t know. A stranger coming out of the shadow in the night is not likely although it does happen. I have yet to write a story about a guy I saw (assumed it was a guy) as I was running late at night over 20 years ago. I saw the outline of a guy carrying a woman who was limp. I couldn’t see where her head was (resting on his chest or hanging down because that’s what gravity does when you die) but I could see both outlines clear enough to know he was carrying the person somewhere. By the time I got to where they were, he and the woman (assumed it was a woman) were gone. What I don’t remember is if he got in a car, but I think he went inside his house. I was running in a residential area. When I passed the area, I said to myself I hope she’s okay. This has crossed my mind a few times since it occurred.

I know married couples who’ve gotten divorces, expected and are still friends, as well as couples who clearly are better off not speaking to each other ever again. If you find yourself not getting along with someone you used to care about and spent most likely a chunk of money to celebrate your union, go to couples therapy to see if you can find common ground and make it work. I can tell you from personal experience that I’ve been through hell and back with the person I’m seeing. We’ve been together for almost 15 years and at that point where yes, we sometimes act like a married couple even though we aren’t. He says I eat old lady candy and I tell him he’s stupid when he says the dumbest things. The point is nothing is forever. I’ve said this many times to him. I said we could not be forever even though I am at a point where I’ve been the most committed to someone in my life. If I die first, my money will go to him and not a relative. So yes, it is that serious (in a way). If we ever did get married, we would sign prenuptial agreements. Hell yes, we would, because people get crazy when they separate and divorce.

I remember some breakups in my 20s and they did not go well. I can’t imagine being married to someone and having to split up your belongings without a prenup. I don’t have as much as millionaires do but I’ll be damned anyone gets my magnet collection. When children are involved, jeez, look out for all out battles occurring. One only has to look at Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to see it goes sour really quickly and stays that way for a long time when one or both parties decide to play this game of who can be the top dog. I’m not saying it’s easy to get divorced. I think in this time period, it should not be looked down upon to legally separate from someone you once committed your life to, and you know why? Because people’s minds change when it comes to interests and while you might have committed to something in your 20s, you obviously don’t feel the same passion you once felt. The same goes for people where when you stop learning and the feelings are radically different from long ago, it’s time to move on when you’ve exhausted all possibilities within your means. This doesn’t include abusive relationships in any way. I have to say this because this is another reason why I never wanted to get married. I didn’t have the greatest example set by my biological parents and because of this, well, here I am needing to claim single on my tax return every year even though I’m not (in partial reality).

So, should a person get married and not feel pressured? Yes. Should a person get divorced and not be ashamed of it? Yes. Should you get married as many times as you want? I suppose. To me, it’s a big waste of money unless you are Liz Taylor. The bottom line is while the institution of marriage is rooted in patriarchy, there is something to be said about the love of two people. There is also the need for getting out of a marriage that isn’t working. So yes, divorce is definitely necessary. I don’t think religion should dictate whether you get divorced. There are no perfect marriages, not even among royalty, just ask Prince Charles. That’s my take on marriage and divorce from someone who has thought about marriage here and there (if I’m honest) but never will take the plunge.

Not Too Late Mid-May Quotes

People experience depression at some point in their lives. Not everyone can be strong, resilient, happy, positive all the time. It doesn’t happen especially given the complexity of our brains and the stimuli occurring around us. We take much out on ourselves including our faults, other people’s faults, and countless other things. These quotes are for those people who struggled to live, survive, keep their heads above the waterline. These quotes are for those who didn’t make it past the pain, darkness, turmoil, and for lack of better words, utter hell. I know people who have committed suicide, who tried to commit suicide, and those who have faulted these people because they don’t understand. The pain in real and so is the projection of everything is okay when it is clearly not okay. Maybe one day, I will talk more in depth about it.

Trifecta #87

Random Calendar Info #16

Elihu Root, Frank Kellogg, Cordell Hull, Al Gore, and Barack Obama all received the Nobel Peace Prize.

Bea Arthur died in 2009 who played Dorothy on The Golden Girls.

The smallest state in the U.S. is Rhode Island at 1,545 square miles.

The first Euro coin was minted in France in 1998.

Dark matter was created to account for gravitational forced in space.

Triskaidekaphobia is the fear to the number 13.

Dennis Hopper who was the bad guy in Speed died of cancer at the age of 74.

Random Calendar Info #15

Cinco de Mayo is the victory of Mexico at the battle with France.

Rosalynn Carter became a deacon in 2006 in Georgia.

AFIS was created in 1974 that helps identify victims and criminals.

The largest truck stop in the U.S. is in Iowa.

Tree of Life in Bahrain has existed over 400 years.

East Timor gained independence from Portugal in 1975.

The tallest mountain in South America is Aconcagua in Argentina at 22,831 feet.

The Kentucky Derby was on TV for the first time in 1952.

Alan Shepard was the first American to travel into space.

FYI: Countries With The Most Guns and Deaths

The U.S. has become synonymous with high gun related deaths in total as well as gun ownership. However, the U.S. is basically in the middle range when you compare the top twenty countries with the highest gun deaths rates per 100,000 people in 2017 according to World Atlas. But when you factor in all gun deaths totals in countries, the U.S. is the second highest behind Brazil in 2019 according to World Population Review. What isn’t surprising to me is the number of gun ownership in that the U.S. ranks number one meaning we have more guns per 100 people whereas Panama has 21.7 guns per 100 people and the second ranking of Serbia with 58.21 guns per 100 people according to World Atlas in 2017. With the recent political and social tension, the U.S., the rate of gun ownership has only increased as well as probably deaths. If I put my two cents into the mix, getting rid of all guns isn’t going to solve the high rate of school shootings or any shootings. However, there needs to be some kind of method and level of restriction. Am I afraid of the person I see with a gun? No. Would I be afraid of a person with a gun aiming at me? Yes. Bottomline is a happy medium seems to be best solution in this case, which includes massive amounts of education, training, and background checks.

Here are the top ten countries with the highest rate of gun ownership in 2017 according to World Atlas.

  1. U.S. with 101 guns
  2. Serbia with 58.21 guns
  3. Yemen with 54.8 guns
  4. Cyprus with 36.4 guns
  5. Saudi Arabia 35 guns
  6. Iraq with 34.2 guns
  7. Uruguay with 31.8 guns
  8. Norway with 31.3 guns
  9. France with 31.2 guns
  10. Canada with 30.8 guns

Here are the top ten countries with the highest gun related deaths per 100,000 people in 2017 according to World Atlas.

  1. Honduras with 67.18 deaths
  2. Venezuela with 59.13 deaths
  3. Swaziland with 37.16 deaths
  4. Guatemala with 34.1 deaths
  5. Jamaica with 30.72 deaths
  6. El Salvador with 26.77 deaths
  7. Colombia with 25.94 deaths
  8. Brazil with 21.2 deaths
  9. Panama with 15.11 deaths
  10. Uruguay with 11.52 deaths

Here are the top five countries with the highest gun related deaths in 2019 according to World Population Review.

  1. Brazil with 49,436 deaths
  2. United States with 37,038 deaths
  3. Venezuela with 28,515 deaths
  4. Mexico with 22,116 deaths
  5. India with 14,710 deaths

Poem: My Own

not on my own, not on my way,

to a place I’ve never been,

coming into view from the hill,

high speeds passing slower ones,

get out of the way, gotta get out of the way,

there’s a place I need to be,

it doesn’t have a timestamp or date,

no name either for the sign,

look for a familiar shrub or tree,

I can’t see into the darkness,

that’s not a house, too far away to know, for sure,

little old woman sitting inside, weaving or whittling

a piece of wood to its skinniest,

veiny pale and numb fingers,

moving for any kind of warmth it will provide,

forgot the mittens, no time for a hat,

nothing behind me, not blocking me,

a space to call my own.

FYI: Some of the Worst Jobs in the World

I think most people agree telemarketers can be annoying but with most any job out there, some are worse than others. According to the Career Addict and Money Inc., these are some of the worst jobs and most of them have really low wages. I was a few of them during my life although some of these jobs I wouldn’t mind doing with the proper training.

Postal service workers

Miners

Firefighters

Social workers

Correction officers

Manual sewer cleaners

Pest controllers

Disc jockeys

Gravediggers

Flower designers

House cleaners

Soldiers

Waiters

Telemarketers

Customer service advisors

Miners

Slaughterhouse workers

Promotional mascots

Traffic wardens

Portable toilet cleaners

Roadkill collectors

Animal urine collector

Crime scene cleaners

Fast food cooks

Broadcasters

Pest control officers

Loggers

Taxi drivers

Retail salespeople

Odor testers

Animal inseminator

Roofer

Photos of Bellagio

Advice Type #1: Should You Overreact?

I decided to do this, in exchange for really wanting to write a book about life, so this will be my first advice type entry. It’s either advice I’ve gotten from others or learned from books or realized due to my own faults and failures. I also learned some of this through witnessing others succeed, my own successes, and everything else that comes to mind. These entries won’t be lengthy. I’m trying to find a way to blog more for my own benefit and maybe for others too. Even though I’m not a leading authority in most topics (no Ph.D. behind my name), I know a few things about a few things. Some of it will be funny and some it will be quite serious. Here goes my first entry.

This person I know went to McDonald’s. He doesn’t eat meat. He does eat cheese and other things like eggs. He went to get an Egg McMuffin meal. Hold the meat. Give him the egg and cheese. The butter slapped on it is fine too. Hell, he isn’t on a diet. When he got the meal. the decaf coffee was fine with three creamers, the hashbrown was greasy, but the Egg McMuffin was wrong. He had no cheese, a smelly slab of bacon on it, and egg. You want to know what the real problem was? He was not at McDonald’s when he opened the sandwich. Guess what? He drove back to McDonalds and as polite as he could be told the employee you put meat on here but no cheese when the sticker said differently (with some irritation because traffic was bad in a few spots along the drive and was anticipating waiting for traffic to clear in order to turn right). He got the new Egg McMuffin and hashbrown. The employee asked if he needed a new hashbrown. He said yes because the other one is in the bag I gave you. What he really wanted to say was would you like eating a cold hashbrown? Needless to say, he didn’t because doing so wouldn’t solve anything. Despite him waiting over 30 minutes to get his food, he had to drive back to get his order right. There was no way in hell he was going to eat the Egg McMuffin that now reeked of swine. By the time he finished eating, his coffee had cooled some but at least, he had a semi-warm hashbrown. Why waste your time overreacting by yelling and acting like a complete jerk? Because people make mistakes that other people don’t like. It’s not as if the person was doing it purposely. I hope not. If s/he was, then that person has some issues to resolve. Making a blanket statement of we all have issues, or we all make mistakes is fine. It’s more important to try not to make mistakes again and realize the other variables might be included such as lack of sleep, not enough employees on shift, or needs new glasses s/he can’t afford. Look at it as means to an end. You eventually filled your stomach. Some people can’t when they’re hungry. Yes, first world problem. What a starving person wouldn’t give for that slab of meat? Perspective is good but so is asking for what you want and then getting it (the right way).

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