More You Know: More Common, Semi Common, and Lesser Common Phobias

We all know what a phobia is and here are a handful of the more common, semi common, and lesser known phobias.   Some of them are justified while others not so much and yet they strike just as much fear in people. I highlighted in bold the one I feel is the most common in the three categories.

Let’s start with some of the more common ones.

  1. Arachnophobia is the fear of spiders.
  2. Aichmophobia is the fear of needles.
  3. Ablutophobia is the fear of bathing.
  4. Atychiphobia is the fear of failure.
  5. Claustrophobia is the fear of confined spaces.
  6. Cynophobia is the fear of dogs.
  7. Coulpohobia is the fear of clowns.
  8. Hemophobia is the fear of blood.
  9. Hypochondria is the fear of illness.
  10. Lockiophobia is the fear of childbirth.
  11. Mysophobia  is the fear of dirt and germs.
  12. Necrophobia is the fear of death or dead things.
  13. Nyctophobia is the fear of the dark.
  14. Pteromerhanophobia is the fear of flying.
  15. Xenophobia is the fear of strangers or foreigners.
  16. Zoophobia is the fear of animals.

Here are some of the semi common ones. 

  1. Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to your mouth.
  2. Botanophobia is the fear of plants.
  3. Coulpohobia is the fear of clowns.
  4. Chronomentrophobia is the fear of clocks.
  5. Dentophobia is the fear of dentists.
  6. Gamophobia is the fear of marriage.
  7. Globophobia is the fear of balloons popping.
  8. Pentheraphobia is the fear of mother-in-laws.
  9. Pyrophobia is the fear of fire.
  10. Sanguivoriphobia is the fear of vampires.
  11. Scolionophobia is the fear of school.
  12. Technophobia is the fear of technology.

Here are some of the lesser common ones.

  1. Anatidaephobia is the fear of being watched by a duck.
  2. Anthrophobia is the fear of flowers.
  3. Barophobia is the fear of gravity.
  4. Bibliophobia is the fear of books.
  5. Ephebiphobia is the fear of teenagers.
  6. Geniophobia is the fear of chins.
  7. Octophobia is the fear of the figure 8.
  8. Omphalophobia is the fear of navels.
  9. Papaphobia is the fear of the pope.
  10. Papyrophobia is the fear of paper.
  11. Porphyrophobia is the fear of the color purple.
  12. Pteridophobia is the fear of ferns.
  13. Somniphobia is the fear of sleep.
  14. Turophobia is the fear of cheese.
  15. Trypophobia is the fear of holes.
  16. Venustraphobia is the fear of beautiful women.
  17. Chrometophobia is the fear of money.

Netflix TV Recommendation: Dead to Me (2019-)

I blazed through the first two seasons and only one season left before the producer calls it quits. I think some TV shows could learn from this. Go out on a high note. Dead to Me is a drama drenched in the right combination of sarcasm, loneliness, and friendship to make a positive impact on the viewer.  It is nice to see Christina Applegate in a role where she’s a mom with real life problems and Linda Cardellini is bizarre just enough without being a crazy woman. The interaction between them and their interactions between James Marsden’s character is solid acting.  I know this word has negative connotations, but the great thing about this show is after a while you realize not everything is as it seems at first glance. There is a good lesson to learn as the saying goes don’t judge a person at first glance.  After the initial conversation of getting to know each other, keep going.  This is what the show does where you are at a good stopping point but don’t want to put that remote control down.  Some parts may have been predictable, but it was carried out well enough that I didn’t care.  I’ll be sad to see if end but glad I gave it a chance.

I rate Dead to Me NEAR PERFECT at 96%.

Movie Review: Velocipastor (2018)

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The same goes for this movie in terms of a shorter movie review.  This is a completely different kind of movie.  Get ready because Velocipastor is quite ridiculous.  The gist of the story is simple.  A priest travels to China (why there, I’m not sure), to find solace in losing his parents.  It is in China (looks a lot like Los Angeles and you’ll notice one location getting maximum usage) that he learns of his newfound power.  And what is this power?  He turns into a dinosaur and uses it for the greater good.  With the help from a hooker, he finds a new way of life (sort of) and gets tangled up in the Chinese triad and drug running.  It’s a wacky plot with the most hilarious rendition of a dinosaur I’ve seen in a long while.  There are more laughs in this film than anything else and the story plays out more like an amateur script especially when you notice erroneous dialogue as in when I say “me” I really mean “you.”  It stars Greg Cohan as Doug Jones, Alyssa Kempinski as Carol, and Daniel Steere as Father Stewart.  It is written and directed by Brendan Steere and is one hour and 15 minutes long. It’s a so bad movie it’s good type of movie.
I rate Velocipastor Three Fingers. It is GOOD at 71%.

Movie Review: Watermelon Man (1970)

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I’m going to revamp my movie reviews by not having them be so long and get more to the heart of the matter.  Basically, have it free flowing and not so regimented.  I saw Watermelon Man on a movie channel a while back.  I watched a bit of it and thought what a weird movie for the time.  It was filmed in the late 1960s and takes place around the same time.  I had planned to watch it later and saw it on Amazon (I think).  It’s about a White man who woke up as a Black man in a White neighborhood with a traditional family of wife and two kids.  This movie has an odd way of turning things on its side and spinning it dizzily around.  It deals with internal and external racism.  The N word is dropped more than a few times.  If you can get past this (to an extent), it has some great scene sequences and message by the end of it.  The running and bus sequence shots come to mind. 

The heart of Watermelon Man is in the transformation Jeff Gerber goes through and as he accepts his new status and what he does with it.  His wife, Althea, for being a liberal hearted woman has her own prejudices to reconcile.  How he is treated by others in his family and coworkers is clearly different.  Some parts were difficult to watch because of the racist thoughts and actions spattered throughout it, and yet it had a message by the end of it and that is the color of your skin shouldn’t be the primary focus but often times it’s the only thing people see.  The movie’s genius is the willingness to include the most ridiculous solutions to Jeff’s newfound problem (what he obviously views as a handicap) and the karma that arises when you have little understanding outside the bubble you live in.  It is one hour and 40 minutes long and rated R.  It is written by Herman Raucher and directed by Melvin Van Peebles.  Yes, this is Mario Van Pebbles dad.  Godfrey Cambridge and Estelle Parsons play Jeff and Althea Gerber.  It’s an interesting movie in that it pushes it just enough beyond comfortable (from a cinematic viewpoint) but not so far that you turn it off.

I rate Watermelon Man Four Fingers. It is GREAT at 90%.

Weekly Facts #33

Workplace bullying affects between 20 to 30% of people. Most of the bullies are men and women who bully tend to bully other women. 

Disneyland was built in one year and finished in 1955 and cost 17.5 million dollars.  Cost of admission was one dollar. 

Left-Handers Day started in 1992 to make awareness of the difficulties of being left handed.

The actual communication from Apollo 13 was “Houston we’ve had a problem.”

Cochineal from beetles has been used since the 15th century as a coloring agent in foods and cosmetics. 

Trifecta #41

TV Show Review: Seinfeld (1989-1998)

Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

“I’m in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people’s feelings.”

Creators: Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld

Total Seasons: 9

Episodes in Each Season: 5 to 24

Rating: TV-PG

Running Time of Each Episode:  22 minutes except the last two episodes in season 9

I suppose this kind of humor you better understand more the older you get.  I finally watched the whole series.  My favorite character was George with Kramer a very close second.  There could have been ten seasons if Jerry Seinfeld had not turned it down. For being a show about nothing, it was hilarious. The major cast members were Jerry Seinfeld as himself, Jason Alexander as George Costanza, Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine Benes, and Michael Richards as Cosmo Kramer

Recurring Cast:  Ruth Cohen as Ruthie Cohen, Liz Sheridan as Helen Seinfeld, Phil Bruns (later replaced by Barney Martin) as Morty Seinfeld, Len Lesser as Uncle Leo, William Thomas, Jr. as Newman’s voice (later replaced by Wayne Knight as Newman), Norman Brenner as Man on Sidewalk, Heidi Swedberg as Susan Ross, Estelle Harris as Estelle Costanza, Jerry Stiller as Frank Costanza, Harris Shore as Mr. Lippman (later replaced by Richard Fancy), John O’Hurley as J. Peterman, Barney Martin as Morty, Deck McKenzie as Angry Man, Richard Herd as Wilhelm, Patrick Warburton as David Puddy, and Peggy Lane as Office Worker.

*******

Best Episode in Season 1 = “The Stock Tip” is the 5th episode where George persuades Jerry to invest in a stock.  It aired on June 21, 1990.

Best Episode in Season 2 = “The Phone Message” is 4th episode where George tries to erase his messages from her answering machine.  It aired on February 13, 1991.

Best Episode in Season 3 = “The Café” is the 6th episode where Elaine takes an IQ test for George.  It aired on November 6, 1991.

Best Episode in Season 4 = “The Old Man” is the 18th episode where George, Jerry, and Elaine volunteer by spending time with senior citizens.  It aired on February, 18, 1993.

Best Episode in Season 5 = “The Stall” is the 12th episode where Elaine gets into a bathroom skirmish over toilet paper with another woman.  It aired on January 6, 1994.

Best Episode in Season 6 = “The Doorman” is the 18th episode where Kramer and George’s father come with an idea for male undergarments.  It aired on February 23, 1995.

Best Episode in Season 7 = “The Soup Nazi ” is the 6th episode where Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer visit a deli that makes the best soup.  It aired on November 2, 1995.

Best Episode in Season 8 = “The Little Kicks” is the 4th episode where Elaine alienates everyone with her dance moves.  It aired on October 10, 1996.

TV Show Review: The Big Bang Theory (2007-2019)

Quote by Raj Koothrappali

“Ok if no one else will say it, I will. We really suck at paintball.”

Creators: Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady

Total Seasons: 12

Episodes in Each Season: 17 to 24

TV Rating: TV-14

Running Time of Most Episodes: 18 minutes

*******

When Big Bang Theory premiered in 2006, none of the main actors and actresses knew how long the series would last or how big of a hit it would be to the world.  It took me a while to get invested into the show (I see a recurring pattern here) and glad I continued with it.  I think it really started to excel when Bernadette and Amy came along and complimented the group. I think it ended at the right time even though it would have been renewed for two more seasons. Whether roommates, friends, and couples, the group somehow centers around Sheldon Cooper’s needs. I thought the last two part episode was perfect ending to the series. I listed the best episode of each season and let’s all agree Howard Wolowitz, Amy Farah Fowler, and Barry Kripke were the funniest characters.

*******

Major Cast in Season 1: Johnny Galecki as Dr. Leonard Hoftstadter, Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Kunal Nayyar as Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz, and Kaley Cuoco as Penny

Recurring Cast in Season 1: Sara Gilbert as Leslie Winkle, Brian Patrick Wade as Kurt, John Ross Bowie as Dr. Barry Kripke, Sara Rue as Dr. Stephanie Barnett, Mark Harelik as Dr. Eric Gablehauser, Carol Ann Susu as Mrs. Wolowitz, Brian George as Dr. V.M. Koothrappali, Alice Amter as Mrs. Koothrappali, Christine Baranski as Dr. Beverly Hofstader, and Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom

Best Episode in Season 1 = “The Loobenfeld Decay” is the 10th episode where Leonard and Sheldon realize Penny can’t sing and come up with plan not to watch her perform.  It aired on March 24, 2008.

Major Cast in Season 2: Johnny Galecki as Dr. Leonard Hoftstadter, Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Kunal Nayyar as Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz, and Kaley Cuoco as Penny, Sara Gilbert as Leslie Winkle

Recurring Cast in Season 2: Brian Patrick Wade as Kurt, John Ross Bowie as Dr. Barry Kripke, Sara Rue as Dr. Stephanie Barnett, Mark Harelik as Dr. Eric Gablehauser, Carol Ann Susu as Mrs. Wolowitz, Brian George as Dr. V.M. Koothrappali, Alice Amter as Mrs. Koothrappali, Christine Baranski as Dr. Beverly Hofstader, and Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom

Best Episode in Season 2 = “The Killer Robot Instability” is the 12th episode where Penny is tired of Howard’s flirtations while Sheldon and Barry Kripke have a competition with their robots.  It aired on January 12, 2009.

Major Cast in Season 3: Johnny Galecki as Dr. Leonard Hoftstadter, Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Kunal Nayyar as Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz, and Kaley Cuoco as Penny

Recurring Cast in Season 3: Melissa Rauch as Bernadette Rostenkowski, Sara Gilbert as Leslie Winkle, John Ross Bowie as Dr. Barry Kripke, Sara Rue as Dr. Stephanie Barnett, Mark Harelik as Dr. Eric Gablehauser, Carol Ann Susu as Mrs. Wolowitz, Brian George as Dr. V.M. Koothrappali, Alice Amter as Mrs. Koothrappali, Christine Baranski as Dr. Beverly Hofstader, Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom, Laurie Metcalf as Mary Cooper, Brian Thomas Smith as Zack Johnson, and Wil Wheaton as himself

Best Episode in Season 3 = “The Staircase Implementation” is the 22nd episode where Leonard tells Penny how he met Sheldon.  It aired on May 17, 2010.

Major Cast in Season 4: Johnny Galecki as Dr. Leonard Hoftstadter, Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Kunal Nayyar as Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz, Kaley Cuoco as Penny, Melissa Rauch as Bernadette Rostenkowski, and Mayim Bialik as Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler

Recurring Cast in Season 4: John Ross Bowie as Dr. Barry Kripke, Carol Ann Susu as Mrs. Wolowitz, Brian George as Dr. V.M. Koothrappali, Alice Amter as Mrs. Koothrappali, Aarti Mann as Priya Koothrappali, Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom, Brian Thomas Smith as Zack Johnson, Joshua Malina as President Siebert, Vernee Watson as Althea, and Wil Wheaton as himself

Best Episode in Season 4 = “The Boyfriend Complexity” is the 9th episode where Penny convinces Leonard to pretend dated in order not to disappoint her father.  It aired on November 18, 2010.

Major Cast in Season 5: Johnny Galecki as Dr. Leonard Hoftstadter, Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Kunal Nayyar as Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz, Kaley Cuoco as Penny, Melissa Rauch as Bernadette Rostenkowski, and Mayim Bialik as Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler

Recurring Cast in Season 5: Aarti Mann as Priya Koothrappali, John Ross Bowie as Dr. Barry Kripke, Carol Ann Susu as Mrs. Wolowitz, Brian George as Dr. V.M. Koothrappali, Alice Amter as Mrs. Koothrappali, Christine Baranski as Dr. Beverly Hofstader, Laurie Metcalf as Mary Cooper, Joshua Malina as President Siebert, Vernee Watson as Althea, Casey Sander as Mike Rostenkowski, Pasha Lynchnikoff as Dimitri Rezinov, Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom, Wil Wheaton as himself, Mike Massimino as himself, and Stephen Hawking as himself

Best Episode in Season 5 = “The Flaming Spittoon Acquistion” is the 10th episode where Amy goes on a date with Stuart which makes Sheldon jealous.  It aired on November 17, 2011.

Major Cast in Season 6: Johnny Galecki as Dr. Leonard Hoftstadter, Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Kunal Nayyar as Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz, Kaley Cuoco as Penny, Melissa Rauch as Bernadette Rostenkowski, Mayim Bialik as Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, and Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom

Recurring Cast in Season 6: John Ross Bowie as Dr. Barry Kripke, Carol Ann Susu as Mrs. Wolowitz, Regina King as Janine Davis, Casey Sander as Mike Rostenkowski, Pasha Lynchnikoff as Dimitri Rezinov, Margo Harshman as Alex Jensen, Kate Micucci as Lucy, Bob Newhart as Dr. Arthur Jeffries/Professor Proton, Brian Posehn as Dr. Bertram Kibbler, Wil Wheaton as himself, Mike Massimino as himself, and Stephen Hawking as himself

Best Episode in Season 6 = “The Closet Reconfiguration” is the 19th episode where Sheldon rearranges Howard’s closet with consequences.  It aired on March 14, 2013. 

Major Cast in Season 7: Johnny Galecki as Dr. Leonard Hoftstadter, Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Kunal Nayyar as Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz, Kaley Cuoco as Penny, Melissa Rauch as Bernadette Rostenkowski, and Mayim Bialik as Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler

Recurring Cast in Season 7: Recurring Cast in Season 6: John Ross Bowie as Dr. Barry Kripke, Carol Ann Susu as Mrs. Wolowitz, Regina King as Janine Davis, Casey Sander as Mike Rostenkowski, Kate Micucci as Lucy, Bob Newhart as Dr. Arthur Jeffries/Professor Proton,

Brian Posehn as Dr. Bertram Kibbler, Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom, Christine Baranski as Dr. Beverly Hofstader, Laurie Metcalf as Mary Cooper, Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom, Brian Thomas Smith as Zach Johnson, Ian Scott Rudolph as Captain Sweatpants, Laura Spencer as Emily Sweeney, Wil Wheaton as himself, Mike Massimino as himself, and Stephen Hawking as himself

Best Episode in Season 7 = “The Scavenger Vortex” is the 3rd episode where Raj has a scavenger hunt for everyone where it’s Sheldon and Penny, Leonard and Bernadette, and Howard and Amy.  It aired on October 3, 2013. 

Major Cast in Season 8: Johnny Galecki as Dr. Leonard Hoftstadter, Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Kunal Nayyar as Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz, Kaley Cuoco as Penny, Melissa Rauch as Bernadette Rostenkowski, Mayim Bialik as Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, and Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom

Recurring Cast in Season 8: Recurring Cast in Season 6: Laura Spencer as Emily Sweeney, John Ross Bowie as Dr. Barry Kripke, Carol Ann Susu as Mrs. Wolowitz, Regina King as Janine Davis, Laurie Metcalf as Mary Cooper, Christine Baranski as Dr. Beverly Hofstadter, Brian George as Dr. V.M. Koothrappali, Alice Amter as Mrs. Koothrappali, Wil Wheaton as himself, Mike Massimino as himself, and Stephen Hawking as himself

Best Episode in Season 8 = “The Misinterpretation Agitation” is the 7th episode where Leonard, Sheldon, and Howard get locked in the basemetn of Dr. Lorvis because he has a crush on Penny.  It aired on October 30, 2014.

Major Cast in Season 9: Johnny Galecki as Dr. Leonard Hoftstadter, Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Kunal Nayyar as Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz, Kaley Cuoco as Penny, Melissa Rauch as Bernadette Rostenkowski, Mayim Bialik as Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, Kevin Sussman as Stuart David Bloom, Laura Spencer as Dr. Emily Sweeney

Recurring Cast in Season 9: Recurring Cast in Season 6: John Ross Bowie as Dr. Barry Kripke, Casey Sander as Mike Rostenkowski, Alessandra Torresani as Claire, Bob Newhart as Dr. Arthur Jeffries/Professor Proton, Brian Thomas Smith as Zach Johnson, Sara Gilbert as Leslie Winkle, Wil Wheaton as himself, and Stephen Hawking as himself

Best Episode in Season 9 = “The Convergence Convergence” is the 24th episode where everyone bickers at the second wedding ceremony of Leonard and Penny.  It aired on May 12, 2016.

Major Cast in Season 10: Johnny Galecki as Dr. Leonard Hoftstadter, Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Kunal Nayyar as Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz, Kaley Cuoco as Penny, Melissa Rauch as Bernadette Rostenkowski, and Mayim Bialik as Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler

Recurring Cast in Season 10: Recurring Cast in Season 6:  Christine Baranski as Dr. Beverly Hofstader, Brian Posehn as Dr. Bertram Kibbler, Laurie Metcalf, Dean Norris as Colonel Richard Willams, Brian Posehn as Dr. V.M. Koothrappali, John Ross Bowie as Dr. Barry Kripke, and Pamela Adlon as Halley Wolowitz (voice only)

Best Episode in Season 10 “The Long Distance Dissonance” is the 24th episode where Dr. Ramona Nowitzki has a crush on Sheldon and he flies New Jersey.  It aired on May 11, 2017.

Major Cast in Season 11: Johnny Galecki as Dr. Leonard Hoftstadter, Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Kunal Nayyar as Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz, Kaley Cuoco as Penny, Melissa Rauch as Bernadette Rostenkowski, Mayim Bialik as Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, and Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom.

Recurring Cast in Season 11: Recurring Cast in Season 6: John Ross Bowie as Dr. Barry Kripke, Bob Newhart as Dr. Arthur Jeffries/Professor Proton, Brian Posehn as Dr. Bertram Kibbler, Laurie Metcalf as Mary Cooper, Christine Baranski as Dr. Beverly Hofstadter, Regina King as Janine Davis, Dean Norris as Colonel Richard Williams, Brian Thomas Smith as Zack Johnson, Brian George as Dr. V.M. Koothrappali, Pamela Adlon as Halley Wolowitz (voice), Joshua Malina as President Siebert, Wil Wheaton as himself, and Stephen Hawking as himself

Best Episode in Season 11 = “The Sibling Realignment” is the 23rd episode where if Sheldon doesn’t invite his brother to his wedding, his mother won’t come.  It aired on May 3, 2018.

Major Cast in Season 12: Johnny Galecki as Dr. Leonard Hoftstadter, Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Kunal Nayyar as Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz, Kaley Cuoco as Penny, Melissa Rauch as Bernadette Rostenkowski, Mayim Bialik as Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, and Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom

Recurring Cast in Season 12: Recurring Cast in Season 6: John Ross Bowie as Dr. Barry Kripke, Bob Newhart as Dr. Arthur Jeffries/Professor Proton, Brian Posehn as Dr. Bertram Kibbler, Christine Baranski as Dr. Beverly Hofstadter, Brian George as Dr. V.M. Koothrappali, Joshua Malina as President Siebert, Lauren Lapkus as Denise, Keith Carradine as Wyatt, Rati Gupta as Anu, Brian Thomas Smith as Zach Johnson, Lindsey Kraft as Marissa Johnson, Kal Penn as Dr. Kevin Campbell, and Sean Astin as Dr. Greg Pemberton

Best Episode in Season 12 = “The D&D Vortex” is the 6th episode where Sheldon meets William Shatner on Professor Proton and leads to Dungeons & Dragons hosted by Wil Wheaton.  It aired on February 21, 2019.

Weekly Facts #32

A mosquito’s saliva acts as an anesthetic, and only pregnant females bite humans.

Fastest speed of a baseball thrown was done by Aroldis Chapman at 105.1 mph. 

The summer and winter on Uranus lasts 42 years each.

The spots of light you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes  It is seeing light without it entering your eye.  They are created by movement associated with optic neuritis.

Most bank robberies occur on Friday, in the morning between 9 and 11, and in southern and western states.

Journal Entry Type #54: Life Shouldn’t be This Difficult But…

I call this “it shouldn’t be this difficult but…” based on one of these things happening to me at one point in my life. If you can’t laugh at yourself once in a while, then what’s the point of living.  

It shouldn’t be this difficult, but it is when you wake up in the middle of the night with severe cramps.  You go into the bathroom, lights out, and while you sit on the crapper while holding your stomach, you think you’re going to die.  The pain is that bad and while you shit, you realize you have to puke too.  Luckily, you finish in time to turn around and do even more expelling of the food inside.  You hope it’s all done and go back to bed, only to find you have more.  You start the whole process again and this time without the puking and wonder what the hell you ate.

What am I?  Ugly Food Poisoning

It shouldn’t be this difficult, but it is when you rest your ordered dinner on your lap and bend over to reach a napkin.  For some reason, Friday night is not on your side and it spills all over the carpet.  Depending on what food it is, some of rolls away.  You don’t yell in frustration, but know you can’t scoop it up and put it back in the container.  You do anyway and see your hair all mixed in with the food. You end up ordering again and make sure not to spill it a second time.

What am I?  A Wasted Dinner

It shouldn’t be this difficult, but it is when you trip over a cord on a hardwood floor, fall, and slide belly up toward a wooden cabinet.  Your impact is so hard you leave teeth marks in the wood.  You sit up and check your front teeth.  They are still there, but you are pissed.  It takes you a few days to forget about it and enjoy things again.

What am I?  A Shuffling Fool

It shouldn’t be this difficult, but it is when you were locked outside of your apartment without keys and your roommate isn’t home.  You are thirsty and just came back from jogging outside.  You want water but don’t have any.  You want to take a shower but can’t.  You just want inside so you don’t look stupid standing around.  You realize you can take the screen off, slide the glass window aside, and go in through the window and you do just that.  The positive of keeping the window unlocked but so much for safety. You put the screen back in and pray no one saw you.

What am I?  A Keyless Jogger

It shouldn’t be this difficult, but it is when your car stops working while moving from Los Angeles to Las Vegas near Death Valley with 1% charge left on your phone.  You need to rely on your roommate driving the U-Haul to call a tow truck and wait 50 minutes for it to arrive.  You sit the rest of the two hour drive with a stranger who graciously gives you water and think to yourself what else could go wrong on this move and wish for something different.

What am I?  An Exhausted Mover

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