Got Time to Spare?!
No complaints because I’d rather have too much to do than too little. The last two weeks have been hectic on many fronts, but the fact I have been able to maneuver through it is a big accomplishment for me. I’m learning to compromise in areas of my life so others can take precedence. I’m learning to flow more like water in my daily life instead of rocks propelling forward at a fast pace as if they were kicked by angry shoes. There is a lot left for me to do, but in the meantime this will have to suffice. Thank you to myself for writing this. Thank you to myself for learning to take one day at a time.
The political atmosphere is complicated as it has ever been for Democrats, Republicans, Independents, and everyone else in between or around these major political parties. Most of us recognize there is trouble within the Democratic and Republican party. Bipartisan may as well not even exist in the dictionary right now.
One month of the Trump administration has gone by and it feels like a year’s time with everything going on; and ask was I that aloof during the Bush era? Was I living under a rock? Did I just not give a crap back then? I don’t think so because I didn’t vote for him either time. Bush even admitted some of his faults and poor decisions made during his eight years. This is the difference between him and the current president.
I hope in the remaining time left, which to me seems like a century, that the parties can work together for the working class people, but my hopes are not so high. I am doing more personal focus right now and the reasons likely due to my midlife crisis although it seems I’ve been in one my whole life. I’m not one to put on blinders to reality, but hope 2020 doesn’t end up worse than 2016 or 2017. The bottom line is Washington D.C. politicians are not acting like mature adults, and hope this changes soon.
I am a type of person who, as of late, done much thinking about her past, present, and future. There are times I crumble within myself at the thought of the next forty years in my life. Will it be the same way as it is currently? God, I hope not. It isn’t that I’m not grateful for what I have including family and select friends I trust and rely on, but sometimes just holding this gratitude in your heart and mind is not enough when reality hits you in face from all sides. I have made many errors in my life, and realize I am not special when it comes to humans being human beings where the good and bad both occur. The thing is sometimes I feel as if the garbage truck didn’t just dump everything on my head throughout this year, but also managed to stick me back into the garbage can at the end. No one likes someone who feels sorry for themselves and can’t pick themselves up by the bootstraps, but I don’t own a pair of boots so sometimes there is not anything to grab. I am not as strong as I’d like to be in many respects, and in others I wish I could be a little less forceful and perceived as caring. I have been described as a gentle person who just is covered by so much armor from all the awareness of my surroundings and events that happened way back in my past. As in George R.R. Martin’s books, there was a period before Aegon’s Conquest and definitely a period after it. I suppose there was a period in my life before my Biological Father and a time after it because I’m still living and breathing. There are times I wear my heart on my sleeve and wish I could reign in it a little more, but it is who I am and no one knows one better than his or herself, or at least, I hope this is more the case than not. It probably is a good thing I started this blog as suggested by someone I consider a mentor. I know about loss of freedom in the prison sense since I used to work there, but how many other freedoms do people feel they lost or are out of reach? I bring it back to the winding down of the current year and start of the new one. Many of these blogs entries will be unstructured where I will type as if I have diarrhea of the fingers and mind because I need another outlet from my structured writing and rewriting of my novel ideas. It has not been lost of me that many are suffering and worse off than me. I hope to not be in their shoes, but I’ve had my share of great suffering. As I move further along my life path, away from my Biological Father and the pressures I put upon myself, I know that freedom to move around at my own free will is one of the best things around. Yet, everything else I desire would also be nice, but I will think about this in 2017. Happy New Year everyone!