Journal Entry Type #162: Up the Hill, Down the Hill

Without going into too much detail, I’m on the radar for the next opportunity, also called a job, because I’ve been laid off. I never thought I would be looking for another job this year, but here I am doing just that. I know a part of me belongs to a handful of other people looking for another job. I know I’m not the only one but it still sucks. I never thought I would be here at this point in my life. When I found out, it was a huge surprise, like gigantic, gargantuan-sized surprise. When I transitioned into this new job, while I didn’t want to stay there forever, it was a good stepping-stone, and hoped would bring me closer to the end goal. I guess not. It was a huge denied. Many things I wanted to do and looked forward to in the future I know need to put off like getting another tattoo, retouching my current ones, staying at a hotel on the LV strip, among other things where you need money. I spent some of my time already applying to jobs and doing my best to remain positive. Of course, I had a full range of emotions after learning this news. I wasn’t there long enough to call anyone my friend and while I haven’t figured it out yet, I’m not quite sure what I was supposed to learn. I’m not going to get into a debate of spirituality, religion, and similar topics, but when I find myself on shaky ground, I tend to turn inward and question a lot of things from the past few months. I’m not going to say this outcome didn’t sting, but I also understand and reinforced by someone with a lot of personal and professional experience that there was more going on than the obvious. I should’ve been on more alert when I noticed some characteristics in my co-workers that was questionable and maybe that was the lesson. My response to it was unbelievable and how stupid it was to come to this end result.

I’m trying hard to really follow what I believe and need to feel in order to become and be a stable, healthy, and well-rounded person. With everything going on, like I said my emotions were all over the place as they should be, and they went from surprise to anger to rage to irritation to sadness and back to surprise. I know that once you leave a workplace you will never come back to or want to come back to in most cases, a part of you thinks good riddance and a part of you thinks it’s a loss. I’ve done some reflection over the years of what would’ve happened had I never moved out of the state I lived in most of my life. I know I wouldn’t have the kind of experiences and views now if I had stayed there and retired at the age of 55. I suppose it’s the dream of most people to be able to retire at the age of 55. I probably would’ve retired around the age of 60 had I remained there and probably own a bigger house than the condo I lived in before moving to CA.

My life has been a series of starts and stops, ups and downs, and right and left turns that took way longer than I wanted. There were detours. I suppose this is a major one. I’ve been putting it on the back burner starting a small business of any kind, but 2023 is the year. I’ve decided to take the plunge and while I am starting out very small with my partner in this t-shirt business, we are taking the next steps to make this a reality. We have also thought of short and long terms goals. It’s good to keep it realistic. There’s many people selling their own brand of t-shirts and other items like cups, mouse pads, bumper stickers, and more. I’ve looked at a few videos about starting a t-shirt business and read a few articles about what not to do and what you definitely should do to give yourself the best opportunity to make it in the t-shirt selling industry. Obviously, knowing your audience is important and to not suppress your creativity, but also don’t try to fit into a mold you think will be successful and popular. You need to find your niche, which is what partner says. You don’t need billions of people to buy your t-shirts although that would be awesome. It’s better to think smaller (at first) and research is important before you take the plunge. I used to work part time at a deli that was known for its bread because the owner baked his own bread. It was soft, thick, and the rye bread was to die for along with the okra soup. I bring this up because while I’m sure it wasn’t the first place to have lunch lines out the door each week, the person who owned it new his niche and brand. You also need to consider price, brand, quality, printing, style, marketing, and selling platforms whether in store or online.

I’m learning to find and accept the evolution and journey when something stops and you have no choice but to start down a new path. As I begin down a new trajectory, I’m remaining as grounded as I can and be motivated every day to gain ground. It’s clear this isn’t where I wanted to be and I’m sure others handle being laid off from a job easier than others. There’s a weird dichotomy of remaining calm and being a basket case with any new discovery and the experience that comes with it until it resolves itself. The only way it will resolve is by taking action. Nothing gets done with inaction. I’ve been putting off giving opportunities a chance including starting a small business and maybe now can squeeze in a little more writing, reading, blogging but giving the most time to the adult responsibilities I sometimes wish I didn’t have but do.

May Quotes #4

May Quotes #3

May Quotes #2

May Quotes #1

TV Show Recommendation: Inside the Heist (2022-)

While there might be redundancy in the people speaking about successful and unsuccessful heists in that few people are that forthcoming in their criminal behavior and those willing to speak about their experiences from the law enforcement side. Those who do speak about it, whether the ex-criminals and the police departments specialized to catch the highly skilled criminal behavior, gives us laypeople a great entry into this interesting game of cat and mouse. The show does a meticulous job at breaking down the major players in each heist attempt. While some of the succeeded in their illegal behavior, it weas often their mouths and connecting the dots that got them into trouble by the police. I’ve watched most of the episodes and for being someone who has been fascinated with this subject, Inside the Heist is well worth watching. The episodes are 44 minutes long and will probably breeze through them like I did.

Movie Review: John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

There are two type of people who want to watch this kind of movie. One, you want to know how John Wick’s final saga ends. Two, you like a good action movie and need a break from the other movies playing in the theaters or a break from what is happening around the world. I might be talking about myself, but for what it is worth, John Wick: Chapter 4 is nothing short of great entertainment with some great fighting scenes.
What is John Wick about in general? Besides being an assassin with a never-ending target on his back, this fourth installment defines what friendship and betrayal means in the most personal of ways. The scenes between John and Caine are some of the best. I liked this movie over the three previous movies for this reason although I liked the first three movies for the quality of its choregraphed fighting scenes. While the scenes between John and Killa Harkan (Scott Adkins) were some of the best fighting scenes in this movie, I felt the last major fighting sequence (the never-ending stairs that made my thighs burn while watching it) could’ve been a lot better in terms of the hired stunt actors.
I get falling down the stairs can’t feel good but to me lazy is a good word to describe parts of it. It seemed as if the “bad guys” were half attempting to defend themselves against John Wick (Keanu Reeves). This might’ve been solved had the scene not lasted so long because it became quite noticeable the stunt actors were just standing there at times waiting to be thrown down the stairs. I’m not saying this should detract from watching the movie, but it’s something I definitely noticed. It takes great planning to conduct the spinning car scene. Again, this was top notch for an action and fighting sequence. I just wished it was more even throughout the movie.
What is John Wick: Chapter 4 about and without spoiling the ending or the specific plot points? The movie begins with John Wick fighting to survive the bounty put on his head. Most of the assassins in the world want the millions of dollars for killing him. However, he does have a few people on his side as in the Bowery King (Laurence Fishburne). After killing another Elder, the Marquis Vincent de Gramont (Bill Skarsgård) uses all his resources to make it uncomfortable for John to find peace and sends Caine (Donnie Yen) and Mr. Nobody (Shamier Anderson) after him. The good thing for John is people eventually come around in favor of him living and abide by the rules set by the High Table. As John travels from New York City to Osaka to Berlin to Paris, it becomes clear to him he has a lot more fighting to do before the duel takes place between him and Gramont. In addition to the great cast, Hiroyuki Sanada plays Shimazu Koji, Lance Reddick plays Charon, Rina Sawayama plays Shimazu Akira, Ian McShane plays Winston Scott, and Clancy Brown plays the Harbinger. The length of this movie didn’t seem to be short of three hours long at two hours and 49 minutes. John Wick: Chapter 4 is rated R for obvious reasons. Watching Keanu Reeves and the incredible cast made it great.
I give it a rating of FOUR FINGERS and ONE THUMB at 92%.

Poem: Perversion

Always remember the two empty lines on his face.

Those lines that were pure, only of flesh, only with hope.

There was no peace in his death, nothing good came of it.

They said many times all was lost after he took his last breath.

I never met him, never personally knew him.

A part of my heart suffered in that field.

A part of my brain hurt for the evil humanity out there.

As those before me in a different era, I wonder how we got here.

This sharpened point in this place of unforgiveness can’t be the end.

Before the cruelty of death, his bloody face was a stain on civilization.

Powerful as the tyrants claimed, he should’ve been given more.

A chance to survive but he still owns his name.

The ones his parents gave him.

You might’ve heard of it before.

If you haven’t, you should know it won’t matter.

Names don’t have significance unless it’s given value.

Again with the reduction of fear, guilt, and shame of his likeness.

In the last moment of his final embarrassment, his body was gone.

He was not there.

No one knows when his soul escaped.

They deliberately chose to break the broken.

In the end, the survivors reacted to be part of the others.

Random Calendar Info #47

If you need to keep your beverages cold in the desert, dig a hole at least a couple feet down and wrap your drinks in cloth. Secure the drinks between two flat boards and tie a rope around the boards. Tie a flag or cloth on the rope and fill in the hole. Raise the flag or cloth so you can see it by using a stick.

If you find yourself in a mudslide, go to higher ground and avoid riverbeds. If you can’t escape, to inside a building that has foundation build into the ground and move to an upper floor if possible. Take cover under a heavy piece of furniture.

If you find yourself lost at sea, take as much food and water and protect yourself from hypothermia and sun rays. Fish will be under your raft or boat where seaweed is and try to get the attention of planes or boats nearby.

If you need an emergency floatation device, tie the ends of your pants and trap air into the legs the flipping them over your head. Pull the waist under the water and hold in the trap air with your hands. Lean into the pant legs and use as a floating device.

If you drop your phone into the toilet, after getting it out and turning it off, remove the case and shake off the water. Remove the battery and SIM card. Dry your phone, battery, and SIM card. Put everything in a bowl of rice for one day.

If you are on a runaway horse, hold tightly onto the saddle and lean back instead of forward. Pull but not too hard and release the reins and continue until the horse stops.

If you find yourself jumping from roof to roof, make sure you have enough space to land and roll. Don’t jump if it is more than 10 feet as you probably won’t make it. Run at full speed and leap forward. Try to land on your feet and tumble sideways onto your shoulders.

If you need to stop your car without working brakes, pump the brake pedal anyway and shift the car into the lowest gear if it is a manual. Pull the emergency brake but not too hard as it will make the car spin around.

If you find yourself in a failing parachute, signal to another flyer your chute isn’t working. When you are close enough to the flyer, hold tight onto the straps by hooking your arms under the harness. Be prepared for severe whiplash when the parachute opens and maybe broken arms.

Remaining Photos of LA

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