Re-post from G.L. Cromarty

Some writers (A) are very open about putting people they know in their book, whether it is revenge (never be mean to a writer), or for less nefarious reasons (I admire you, I love you, I like you, you are fun, you are interesting). Some writers (B) deny all, even vague, linkage between real people and the […]

via Do writers really put you in their books? #amwriting #writing — G.L. Cromarty

Poem: Yellow Bird

yellowbird

If a bird landed on my shoulder, what color would it be?  And what would he do? 
It might defecate on my new white crispy shirt from my favorite brand name store. 
It could stand on one foot attached to a spindly leg, then the other as if life were only a game to him.
But when he appeared, he did neither.
Instead, took one glance at my eye wear resting ever so peacefully on my nose
And then tried to lift the frames off my ears, hopping from one side to the next.
This continued much to my mixture of delight and slight irritation until I was consumed with irritation alone. 
I made limited contact with his frenetic body after a few misses. 
I concluded with a purposeful swat to his body. 
Quite stunned by what I had done, he collected himself and flew away. 
I blurted rather loudly, “good riddance,” and went along my intended path.
But when I turned my head to make sure he was gone, he was about twenty five feet away
And flying towards me with his wings flapping in a state of what appeared to be sheer panic or rage. 
Maybe, this yellow bird has something to tell me. 
“That can’t be,” I said with emphasis.   Birds can’t talk.  Sure, they can chirp.  But talk to a human being? 
Absolutely not!
I turned back, hoping I would only see a dot in the sky,
With thoughts of what my body must do and my mind should release from the past week. 
It was no such luck because he was still there, only closer.
And as I continued onto the next physical destination,
My mind clearly was not in sync with the next task before me.  
I was flustered from head to toe and beyond.
If only there were repeats in one’s lifetime.
If another bird landed on my shoulder, would the color be different? 
Would he be a she this time? 
Would she peck my eye out? 
Females tend to be more aggressive than males or what I noticed as of late. 
Would she take something away?  And not return it back? 
Would she return it to me in a million broken pieces? 
Would she succeed?
The bird, at hand, must be paid attention to instead of wondering about hypotheticals. 
The future may hold many possibilities but not currently. 
I straightened up as much as my crippled back allowed, and
Prepared for another duel with this stinking yellow bird.
c2017pc

 

Old Reflections of a Writer

I wrote this in December 2015.  I am not the same person.  I am in other ways.  Cheers everyone.
The last few weeks I have been giving EL James’ books much thought. I have not read any of them, but the few pages I have read online did not have much content. I wonder does she care that people including established writers think she is a terrible writer. She probably does not given she is worth 80 million dollars (net worth) and was able to do what few are able to do. She has amassed much wealth that I can only dream of in the writing world. Maybe, it is jealousy of other writers for this backlash. Yet, in all honesty, she has broken some cardinal rules writers should never do, at least when it comes to sex scenes. Then again, rules are meant to be broken at times. It works for some. She was one of them.
I have lived much of my life with so much inner turmoil. It would make the average head spin in circles infinity because it has made my head spin in circles as well. My head still spins at a rapid pace. This has also allowed me to access my emotions, raw and pure, which is what you need as a writer. By no means, am I well versed in the writing process as say Stephen King who continues to baffle my mind from a creative perspective, but I do know some stuff.
As the days pass by and weeks turn into months, I hope the next ten years of my life are filled with progress I expect of myself and drive I utilize for the best possible outcome. Yes, the four books I need and have to write has turned into five more, totaling nine books, and now that I have gone back to my original goal, it is fourteen total books that I hope to write. My alarm clock nears one o’clock, and I sit here writing about something that few people want to hear or will probably read. I guess this is more for me than for you. I guess this is a little reminder for me not focus on other writers, successful and struggling, and keep the eye on my own prize.
After I finish the majority of books I want to write, then maybe I will write a book along the lines of EL James. Maybe, I should write this book after I am done with my current book. Maybe, I should not listen to my gut and not follow my heart. Maybe, I should weave all over the damn place and not stick to the spine of the story. Maybe, my desire to be published will become a reality. The million dollar question is will I be able to live with myself if I do this? Will I be straying from my true self?
I am more lost than ever in my life when it comes to my purpose and worth. The possibilities and turmoil within myself never ends. The universe does not open its doors just because you want it to open. The world does not revolve around your platform. Wishful thinking never works, at least not in my life. Personal and family past mistakes still are a part of me. I try to live in the present as much as possible. I am thankful for air in my lungs every day. Life is truly what you make of it and coasting by is not a part of my vocabulary. I retire for the night, keeping the end goal always in sight, but focusing more on the little steps one needs to take in order to reap the large reward after the road has been trampled on, ripped up, patched up, and hopefully still in tact to be the gateway to another adventure.
c2017pc

 

February 25, 2017 Blogs

Got Time to Spare?!

No complaints because I’d rather have too much to do than too little.  The last two weeks have been hectic on many fronts, but the fact I have been able to maneuver through it is a big accomplishment for me.  I’m learning to compromise in areas of my life so others can take precedence.  I’m learning to flow more like water in my daily life instead of rocks propelling forward at a fast pace as if they were kicked by angry shoes.  There is a lot left for me to do, but in the meantime this will have to suffice.  Thank you to myself for writing this. Thank you to myself for learning to take one day at a time.

Who’s Ready?!

2020

The political atmosphere is complicated as it has ever been for Democrats, Republicans, Independents, and everyone else in between or around these major political parties.  Most of us recognize there is trouble within the Democratic and Republican party.  Bipartisan may as well not even exist in the dictionary right now.  

One month of the Trump administration has gone by and it feels like a year’s time with everything going on; and ask was I that aloof during the Bush era?   Was I living under a rock?  Did I just not give a crap back then?  I don’t think so because I didn’t vote for him either time.  Bush even admitted some of his faults and poor decisions made during his eight years. This is the difference between him and the current president.

I hope in the remaining time left, which to me seems like a century, that the parties can work together for the working class people, but my hopes are not so high.  I am doing more personal focus right now and the reasons likely due to my midlife crisis although it seems I’ve been in one my whole life.  I’m not one to put on blinders to reality, but hope 2020 doesn’t end up worse than 2016 or 2017.  The bottom line is Washington D.C. politicians are not acting like mature adults, and hope this changes soon.

c2017pc

February 2, 2017 Blog

Topic: Planet Earth, Animals, and Responsibility

handplanet

I like most living creatures, but I have been known to kill spiders and cockroaches if I find them in my apartment. I luckily have not found either one as of late. There was a time when I had a mouse run past me on the floor when I first moved to Los Angeles ten years ago. I had Odyssey at the time, my Harlequin rabbit, and we both looked at it as it scooted past us on all fours. His nickname was Oddball. He died in 2012 and can’t believe he has been gone this long.
I came across the Lli Pika in a picture taken by National Geographic, named after the person who discovered it in China. This is a mountain dwelling mammal and is found in the Tianshan Mountains. It is quite rare and has only been seen a few times. It is related to the rabbit and hare, which yes, are two different lagomorphs. There are so many rare animals needing conservation and protection of their habitats. It makes me sad knowing many animals will at some point not be able to sustain themselves because humans keep taking away their homes.
I firmly believe humans must act in ways to preserve the Earth for future generations. It is not enough to have the mindset of the next generation will deal with it or worse not recognizing ecological concerns. We must right our wrongs in this lifetime as much as possible. If our ancestors did this, maybe the current situation of global warming and other ecological dangers would not be hitting us in the face as hard. The hand is big and the consequences bigger. The effects are felt personally and socially. As some have said before, one cannot eat money when they are hungry.
A government cannot force a family to live a certain way or eat from a certain food group (to an extent). Yet, countries wield a lot of power such as China. If they enacted strict laws regarding ivory trade, the peril of elephant poaching would become more than likely become a thing of the past. I’m not sure why there has been disconnect about protecting wildlife and why some circles are hell bent on destroying entire animal populations.   It saddens me knowing many species will not exist twenty or fifty years from now.
There is responsibility when it comes to domesticated animals. We should not buy or adopt dogs or cats or the many choices to choose from when finances are not there to take care of them in the long run.   They don’t need to be pampered with catered meals, but they do need to eat decent food along the way for nutrition and have clean water to drink. One simply does not buy or adopt an animal if you are not committed to that animal for, at least, ten years. I do my best with my limited means, but applaud those with greater financial resources who promote the well being of planet Earth.   With this in mind, time to recycle my bottles and cans.
c2017pc

 

January Blogs

January is the Month and 2017 is the Year

newyear

My sanity within this month has swung to the far right and to the far left with everything political and personal occurring.  I’m a year older and still working on my life long goals as I have the past ten years.  I have made many strides but not enough to feel as if I broke through the barrier.  January is almost finished and in essence only took down a few bricks here and there on the many areas I focus on at a given time. If I could get one thing done on my list, maybe I might get minor relief. The thing to remember is any forward motion, no matter how small is better than nothing.  I focus on this and the small changes one can make each month.
Lately, I go to work and watch MSNBC after I arrive home or work out by jogging and weightlifting.  My hope is that things turn around within the Trump presidency, but he has much to convince me his statements are sincere and true.  Some believe disagreeing with Trump means you are un-American or un-patriotic, which I view as highly flawed.  This last thought has been on my mind within the last few days, and yes, it bothered me.  The country is divided among liberals and conservatives as well as within liberals (Clinton vs. Bernie) and conservatives (Trump vs. Republicans).
I understand this similar to saying clouds fill the sky.  The obvious is there, but getting workable answers beyond it is the hard part.  I did not participate in one of the many rallies and marches today, but I thank everyone who did participate.   My hope is everyone finds improvement within her/himself, peace in her/his surroundings, and courage to speak her/his mind in a respectful manner.  When I get too involved in one phenomenon happening, I try to restructure the platform on which I stand to gain better perspective within myself and others.  On that note, the Earth is a powerful entity.  Humans do not own it.  Try to treat each other better than you did yesterday.  Okay, off my soapbox so goodnight .
Happy New Year or Cockadoodledoo!!!!!!!

rooster

I am a type of person who, as of late, done much thinking about her past, present, and future.  There are times I crumble within myself at the thought of the next forty years in my life.  Will it be the same way as it is currently?  God, I hope not.  It isn’t that I’m not grateful for what I have including family and select friends I trust and rely on, but sometimes just holding this gratitude in your heart and mind is not enough when reality hits you in face from all sides.  I have made many errors in my life, and realize I am not special when it comes to humans being human beings where the good and bad both occur.  The thing is sometimes I feel as if the garbage truck didn’t just dump everything on my head throughout this year, but also managed to stick me back into the garbage can at the end.  No one likes someone who feels sorry for themselves and can’t pick themselves up by the bootstraps, but I don’t own a pair of boots so sometimes there is not anything to grab.  I am not as strong as I’d like to be in many respects, and in others I wish I could be a little less forceful and perceived as caring.  I have been described as a gentle person who just is covered by so much armor from all the awareness of my surroundings and events that happened way back in my past.  As in George R.R. Martin’s books, there was a period before Aegon’s Conquest and definitely a period after it.  I suppose there was a period in my life before my Biological Father and a time after it because I’m still living and breathing.  There are times I wear my heart on my sleeve and wish I could reign in it a little more, but it is who I am and no one knows one better than his or herself, or at least, I hope this is more the case than not.  It probably is a good thing I started this blog as suggested by someone I consider a mentor.  I know about loss of freedom in the prison sense since I used to work there, but how many other freedoms do people feel they lost or are out of reach?  I bring it back to the winding down of the current year and start of the new one.   Many of these blogs entries will be unstructured where I will type as if I have diarrhea of the fingers and mind because I need another outlet from my structured writing and rewriting of my novel ideas.  It has not been lost of me that many are suffering and worse off than me.  I hope to not be in their shoes, but I’ve had my share of great suffering.  As I move further along my life path, away from my Biological Father and the pressures I put upon myself, I know that freedom to move around at my own free will is one of the best things around.  Yet, everything else I desire would also be nice, but I will think about this in 2017.   Happy New Year everyone!

c2017pc

 

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