Pisaries Creator

I suppose this is more of an entry discussing co-workers. I’ve had my share of good and bad ones. The good that became friends over time. The bad I wished would quit so I wouldn’t have to deal with that person anymore. Both have happened to me although not before I was able to work through the toxicity in the workplace. This also means working on my ability to not let my co-worker intrude himself into my thoughts whether at work or outside of work. The best thing to do is to ignore the person as much as possible. Of course, this is harder when you are in close proximity or there aren’t many people around you to absorb some of the bullshit happening.

These kinds of people as your co-workers aren’t only toxic, but they are difficult to be around for many reasons. We’ve all been there. We meet a new co-worker that we think is pretty cool upon first meeting them and then after spending more than a week with them, you realize this person is not what s/he portrayed him or her to be. In fact, their insecurities appear are abrasiveness, intolerance, impatience, rudeness, lies, and more. Their personality is the complete opposite of what you saw in the beginning.

In the past, some of my past coworkers told me they don’t like to be around people or talk to people. Others have told me they don’t like being nice for the sake of being nice. They are only nice because that is what their job dictates. I’ve seen co-workers who pretend to be nice and helpful but are the opposite and will stab you in the back in subtle ways. They feel threatened for some reason and end up doing things to sabotage those they feel are trying to upstage them or whatever they have conjured up in their minds. I’ve been around these people too and feel these are some of the worst to be around.

If you are secure about yourself, you don’t need to let everyone know around you how enlightened you are, how inferior others are to you, speak about how you’ve done everything before, deflect your faults onto others, and think their way is the superior one. I’ve seen and been around these people too although I’d much rather not. I can’t imagine how terrible it would be to live with someone like this and those that are married or with someone more than likely tied to another person with similar personalities.

I would bet my hands on the following that these people are miserable. They haven’t done the work to improve who they are even though they say they are fully enlightened. They are great at manipulating others because it’s the only thing that gives them fuel. They are the human soul suckers of the world that take because it’s the only way they know how to feel powerful. These people love to talk about themselves and their greatness but when you speak to them, they are quick to dehumanize you and belittle you.

Whether this person is a stranger, a friend, an acquaintance, co-worker, or family member, sometimes you don’t have the luxury to rid yourself of these people. Sometimes you have to find ways to cope and deal with them. There are tons of information in books and articles online. Remember to stand up for yourself. Being silent and just taking it usually causes more harm. This person doesn’t and shouldn’t feel as if they can control you. You are your own person. S/he is responsible for his or her own feelings. You aren’t his caretaker and don’t owe that person anything. If s/he’s not loyal to you, there is no reason for you to do the same. I’m not saying to backstab or tattle tale, but being stepped all over should never be an option.

I’m a person who keeps busy. I don’t need to talk to my co-worker to pass time. I can find things to do on my own. Needy and jealous co-workers, again, can be exhausting. Because I’m not into drama in the workplace, when people talk shit about other co-workers, I usually ignore them. I’m definitely not going to take their word instead make my own conclusions about someone. When co-workers talk negatively about everyone in the office, you know they are talking trash about you when you aren’t there. We all complain and need to get out our feelings at times, but when it borders on cruelness, it’s not so beneficial. When it’s clear this person finds fault in everyone and everything and every system, it’s a good thing to remember this is their problem. When someone is being disrespectful, mean, and close-minded, this all should point to that person. It isn’t anyone’s responsibility to tell her or him when s/he being less than a decent human being.

Because the people reading this are all human beings, we can reflect upon upsetting events and demanding situations after the fact. I’m no expert by any means although I’ve been around enough toxic people to know who they are, what they are capable of, and what to do to protect yourself. I’m not saying these are inherently bad people. They are just people who fail to realize their own faults or want to do anything to fix them. Being around these people is a part of life. It’s harder when you have to spend more than an hour with them. It’s even harder when you live with one. It’s also a good opportunity to assess what you’ve learned and define your limits.