Pisaries Creator

Someone once told me that you should pick up after yourself, even at the workplace, especially at the workplace because then people will think you are a major slob and will spread rumors about you. I wish that was the case, someone got their comeuppance, when I heard a story about ants when I was at a party last weekend. I had recently broken up with my girlfriend, so I was more willing to listen to a random stranger talk about ants. I know there are many different kinds of ants that found Earth as a suitable place to breed, grow, and prosper. I don’t care where they live. The only thing I want from any insect is don’t come into my home thinking you can spread your stupid family around any one of my rooms. That isn’t going to happen because I clean up after myself. I don’t leave food crumbs and other sweet temptations on the counters. I pick up dropped food from the kitchen floor.

The conversation I had with this stranger was innocent enough. I wasn’t attracted to her, but she was nice enough to notice me. I was standing alone, back against the wall, with a beer in my hand. She blurted out people who don’t cook are lazy and need to take cooking classes or date someone who knows how to cook. In her mind, they are losers eating grotesque TV dinners. I agreed with her. What a sad life! Back when she was in high school, and her parents made her work for a week as punishment for sneaking out to go to a concert miles away with her friend and for taking their convertible Jaguar without asking. A life timer at this company brought the same predictable TV dinner every day. They called her Big M because of her size. During one of the days at work, she heard a scream from the break room. Then, a few women ran out of the room and a few men left with smiles on their faces, probably realizing this was the most excitement they would have for a while.

The story circulating among the employees was a surprise in one of the microwaves. When an employee opened the door, ants were crawling in and out of the vents, under the circular glass plate, and clinging to the top. By the time the ants were all done feasting on their lunch, the woman who found the ants had lost her lunch. She was grossed out about the whole situation. Thoughts went through her head about how this could happen. Either way someone wasn’t doing their job and she complained to her manager about it.

The stranger telling me this story went on and on about how pathetic people are and when the week was done, she chewed out her parents for giving her this kind of punishment. She described it as a form of torture. I got to thinking as we parted ways if she had made up this story as a form of punishment for me. I had not shown much interest in the story as she continued talking and maybe I was getting too old for these kinds of parties. As I finished my beer, I came to the conclusion if I ever found ants in a microwave, I would’ve powered it on and watched them cook. Who knows if any of them would survive?