Pisaries Creator

I’m riding the wave of nostalgia for some reason and having dreams about work. Two things I shouldn’t be doing. When you find yourself transporting yourself back to your teenage years, it’s not pretty and quite pointless. I could do without both. Yet maybe because I’m nearing another high-school reunion again, this is the reason for me thinking of what happened to me after high school. How much I’ve changed. How much hasn’t changed. How much longer I have left on this planet. How I wish it was longer some days. How I wish it shorter other days.

I’ve never really lived great years. I doubt I ever will because I’m not wired that way and tend to think of the glass half empty than half full. I’m not a complete Debbie Downer either and won’t let others rain on my sunshine when I want to soak in the rays. I’ve learned other people’s bullshit is not my bullshit. There is no obligation for me to carry it around because they don’t want to carry their load anymore. There is equally no obligation for me to let others inject their bullshit into my veins because their goal whether they realize or not is to inject as many people as possible with their negativity. The bottom line is some people do exist to destroy the willpower of others around them. I’ve seen it up close and from far away.

I try not to give these people the time or day and if I have to be around them for whatever reason, I do my best to cleanse myself of this bullshit once I’m not in proximity of these people. So, yes, I’m needing to get rid of the anger and at times hatred for some people no longer a part of my life. It’s easy to get them out physically, but less easy to eradicate them out of your mind, I don’t feel sorry for these people. These people like to believe they are doing you a favor by reminding you of the past. All it really does is the opposite. They remind you of how stupid they are. So yes, “stupid is as stupid does.”

Despite this bad thorn that pops once in a while, I thought of the highlight of reading a college/university essay a high school student wrote during the 1990s. At the time, I believed it might be the actual essay he wrote. How cool would that be. Today, I know it wasn’t the essay he turned in to get accepted into any college/university but as humorous commentary on entrance into any higher educational school. We know how challenging it is to get accepted into colleges/universities with limited acceptance letters and then even harder when it comes to the top schools. The person who wrote this essay is Hugh Gallagher. He’s no longer a high school student and he’s still a writer. What he wrote is in red. My response to what he wrote is right after it in black from a middle-aged point of view.

ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I like to believe I am a courageous and creative woman. I don’t jump off the ground very high because of my knees. Don’t let that stop you from thinking I’m not a real American. I love ice cubes in my water. It doesn’t matter what shape they are, just put them in and let them melt at their own speed. I wish I could write anything worthy of an award. If you threw me into the water, I’m sure I could still retrieve a ten-pound brick from the bottom of the pool. Keep a lifeguard close by just in case I don’t come to the surface.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

I’m too tired to woo women or men although in the past I’ve been on dating sites. I feel cheated because many Asian people are great at playing any musical instrument. I’m not a fan of biking outside but love stationary bikes. I shouldn’t be making any kind of brownies, but I can make good chocolate chip cookies when I follow the recipe. I wish I had kept some of my old acrylic and oil paintings. I think if I wanted to, any country would let me in and no, there are some countries I would never set my gnarly feet in.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I need water to survive and would like to visit the Amazon Forest if it were not for the large insects. I am not a fan of baseball or football. If I ever won the lottery, I would not turn the money away. Well-made documentaries are a great way to learn new things when you don’t want to read books. I’m rarely bored because there’s always something to see or do unless you are trapped somewhere, and no one wants that to happen. I wanted to be in school forever but not anymore and I would like to get paid for whatever I repair but no one asks me. There goes my supplemental income.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I was always an artist and writer from birth. I understand why people gamble and smoke. I once owned a pair of two-colored black and purple corduroy pants. Think back to Prince in Purple Rain. I’ve been misunderstood and disliked. The last five years have been challenging. The world is not my oyster, and neither was that necklace I got at a gift on my tenth birthday. I can bring plants from their near death. Keep your children away from me. I don’t think snot-filled, loud-mouthed children are cute in any way.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I found out my coordination is not that good when it comes to wiffleball. I haven’t finished Moby Dick and read few classics. It’s too late to be a CIA or FBI agent. I sure hope in the next, I will be given an opportunity to be either one. If I should have a violent death, let it be quick. I live in reality and understand the dangerous consequences of any job. There is envy in people that need only five hours of sleep a night. I don’t linger on it for long. I am able to sleep as long as I want because I do not have to feed anyone but myself. Gravity can be your enemy as you get older. It does not have to be. Maybe one day, I will visit Canada. Let me in. I don’t drink.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

I’m responsible for my freaking bills. They do get paid. I used to jam pack a lot in my weekends. Now, I take more naps and feel lazy. I would like to try new things. Again, you need time and money. More you need energy and motivation. I wish I discovered the meaning of life. I thought I used to know it. To this day, I’m not a fan of cooking and never understood bullfighting. If I could convince myself not to eat so much, I’d be so much lighter. We all can speak to any dead musician if we believe enough in our supernatural powers. Call me antisocial. I don’t care to speak to any of them.

But I have not yet gone to college.

I have gone to college and wonder if all the money spent was worth it. I guess it was after all.