When the chill comes over me, I know I'm not alone. I see you coming behind me and catching me when I want to fall. Thank you for being there for me tonight. It's not every night when I feel safe around you. The nights where you are missing in action, I wonder where you are. If you are out there with someone else and having fun without me. Laughing and cheering up another soul that's deserving. I can't blame you for wanting to find another. Your plan for the coming year doesn't seem to include me. This makes me incredibly sad. My tears keep dropping from my eyes, making breathing hard. I don't know how to make it stop.
When the name comes to my mind, I know I'm missing something. Because I feel it within my heart. There is a darkness in my whole body. I don't know how to get rid of it. I try everything taught to me in the classrooms and streets. Nothing works to help me breath without pain. It's this pain making me feel inadequate and unsafe. I wanted to feel secure in your arms. We aren't talking about the same future. You are hundreds of steps behind me. This makes you unable to feel anything but confusion and shame.
I don't know how to persuade you that I care. You don't need to be so reserved. To be shy when you are in the bright spotlight. This is how some relationships never start. You are preoccupied with other time zones and space blockages. If you see me from across the way, will you stop and pause. Turn around to see if I still feel the same way. I'm not sure you will recognize me. The distance has been good for you. You will be a different creature, with outstretched wings. My past regrets aren't my own. Time to cut the chain and let you fly away.
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