Pisaries Creator

Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Publication Date: April 8, 2012

Number of Pages: 237 pages

I have no issue with self-help books written by authors that aren’t widely known. Some of them have valuable insight and primarily because the author experienced the events themselves. They have firsthand knowledge of the steps to heal and what it takes to have continued success. However, while there are parts of Thawed that is worth reading and digesting, there are parts of this book that could’ve been combed again (meaning edited, revised, and proofread again). The first six chapters allowed me to better understand the concept of codependency and shed light on child and parent relationships. For those of us who have experienced trauma as a child recognizes a set of needs where one or more was lacking. This leads to emotional setbacks that adults try to gain back in some way. This can be done positively or negatively. Once this loss has been regained, merely surviving turns into surplus of mental and emotional skills. As adults, we find ways to feel safe and relief from what was missing in our childhoods, and much of this is due to how we change our view of ourselves. We are now able to identity our triggers easier and when we are sliding too deep into the negative zone.

One of my biggest issues was the information dump that was in three sections of the workbook. Each one corresponded to one of our selves: false, invented, and true. While there was good information in each of these, it was clear information meant to be included was missing. For example, when each section was split up even further, sometimes only four out of five scenarios, methods, scripts, et cetera were mentioned. The three workbook sections would haec been easier to understand the order had been more flushed out. Chapter Two: Anatomy of an Emotional Wound and the Appendix A and B as the most insightful and reaffirming of what I already knew. The explanation of scripting and how transactions between children and parents is important to understanding how to start bettering yourself especially when you think you are there already. Trust me, you aren’t. The obvious is usually addressed first and then as time goes by it is harder to recognize what is needing focus. There is always more to improve and more to learn. Nobody knows everything.

While I recommend Thawing for those who want to understand what child abuse and neglect does to not only the child but as an adult child, then read this book. If you want to understand and learn more about codependency, then this book will help you fulfill this request. I admit I’ve never truly finished all the exercises of any self-help book when I should’ve. Life gets in the way where I lose interest or can’t stay on task once I get halfway done or realize I pretty much got all of what I needed out of the book. I do make a note of finishing most of these books. I find overly used medical jargon and hard to translate advice/words into actual experiences not helpful to most people. Unless you’re a Ph.D. in psychology, then these books don’t hold much weight to someone struggling to live day from day. This book is probably not circling around academia, but I might be wrong. I suspect people like me is who is reading this book and while it isn’t in my top ten non-fiction books, it is worth the read.

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