Pisaries Creator

Sometimes I want to curl inward
My outer body will not bend
Sometimes I want to barrel down
My inner self will not allow
Sometimes I want to abandon 
No one will know my location
Sometimes I want the reason why
The best answer is none
Sometimes I want to find strength
The heart will find healing
Sometimes I want no pain
No one might ever notice
Sometimes I want this to end
My whole body is confused.