January Blogs

January is the Month and 2017 is the Year


My sanity within this month has swung to the far right and to the far left with everything political and personal occurring.  I’m a year older and still working on my life long goals as I have the past ten years.  I have made many strides but not enough to feel as if I broke through the barrier.  January is almost finished and in essence only took down a few bricks here and there on the many areas I focus on at a given time. If I could get one thing done on my list, maybe I might get minor relief. The thing to remember is any forward motion, no matter how small is better than nothing.  I focus on this and the small changes one can make each month.
Lately, I go to work and watch MSNBC after I arrive home or work out by jogging and weightlifting.  My hope is that things turn around within the Trump presidency, but he has much to convince me his statements are sincere and true.  Some believe disagreeing with Trump means you are un-American or un-patriotic, which I view as highly flawed.  This last thought has been on my mind within the last few days, and yes, it bothered me.  The country is divided among liberals and conservatives as well as within liberals (Clinton vs. Bernie) and conservatives (Trump vs. Republicans).
I understand this similar to saying clouds fill the sky.  The obvious is there, but getting workable answers beyond it is the hard part.  I did not participate in one of the many rallies and marches today, but I thank everyone who did participate.   My hope is everyone finds improvement within her/himself, peace in her/his surroundings, and courage to speak her/his mind in a respectful manner.  When I get too involved in one phenomenon happening, I try to restructure the platform on which I stand to gain better perspective within myself and others.  On that note, the Earth is a powerful entity.  Humans do not own it.  Try to treat each other better than you did yesterday.  Okay, off my soapbox so goodnight .
Happy New Year or Cockadoodledoo!!!!!!!


I am a type of person who, as of late, done much thinking about her past, present, and future.  There are times I crumble within myself at the thought of the next forty years in my life.  Will it be the same way as it is currently?  God, I hope not.  It isn’t that I’m not grateful for what I have including family and select friends I trust and rely on, but sometimes just holding this gratitude in your heart and mind is not enough when reality hits you in face from all sides.  I have made many errors in my life, and realize I am not special when it comes to humans being human beings where the good and bad both occur.  The thing is sometimes I feel as if the garbage truck didn’t just dump everything on my head throughout this year, but also managed to stick me back into the garbage can at the end.  No one likes someone who feels sorry for themselves and can’t pick themselves up by the bootstraps, but I don’t own a pair of boots so sometimes there is not anything to grab.  I am not as strong as I’d like to be in many respects, and in others I wish I could be a little less forceful and perceived as caring.  I have been described as a gentle person who just is covered by so much armor from all the awareness of my surroundings and events that happened way back in my past.  As in George R.R. Martin’s books, there was a period before Aegon’s Conquest and definitely a period after it.  I suppose there was a period in my life before my Biological Father and a time after it because I’m still living and breathing.  There are times I wear my heart on my sleeve and wish I could reign in it a little more, but it is who I am and no one knows one better than his or herself, or at least, I hope this is more the case than not.  It probably is a good thing I started this blog as suggested by someone I consider a mentor.  I know about loss of freedom in the prison sense since I used to work there, but how many other freedoms do people feel they lost or are out of reach?  I bring it back to the winding down of the current year and start of the new one.   Many of these blogs entries will be unstructured where I will type as if I have diarrhea of the fingers and mind because I need another outlet from my structured writing and rewriting of my novel ideas.  It has not been lost of me that many are suffering and worse off than me.  I hope to not be in their shoes, but I’ve had my share of great suffering.  As I move further along my life path, away from my Biological Father and the pressures I put upon myself, I know that freedom to move around at my own free will is one of the best things around.  Yet, everything else I desire would also be nice, but I will think about this in 2017.   Happy New Year everyone!



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