Journal Entry Type #67: During and After the Full Belly

As many people in the U.S. and a handful of other countries that celebrate Thanksgivings earlier, as a collective whole probably stuffed themselves silly and gave thanks. If you live in the U.S., there’s the reminder of how the Native populations still suffer. I’ve been a type of person to not sugarcoat the mistakes and blunders any country has done in the name of greed, power, and righteousness. I recently had a conversation with someone about the U.S. having a history of going into other countries and trying to spread democracy, but it is not so good when it leads to war and death. I then asked if the U.S. needs such a powerful military, known as the strongest in the world, and the response I got was “yes, because we’ve made a lot of enemies over the years.”

I bring this up because I watched Band of Brothers over Thanksgiving and will be commenting on it more in depth in a different blog. I had watched The Pacific last year over Thanksgiving and finally it came full circle. I can’t wait because Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks is in the production stages of making Masters of the Air that will start filming in March 2021. There’s a lot of things to look forward to in 2021. The Tokyo Olympics although it won’t be the same due to COVID and social distancing. The vaccine will hopefully have a clear and controlled rollout phases where the chaos will be minimal and the effectiveness will be maximized. I’ve been putting a lot of my energy into things that bring me joy but also lethargy and denial.

I suppose I’m denying some things I know I need to do and should do while also waking up later and later as the days go by. Of course, it doesn’t help my neighbor who goes to work wakes me up every day at 4 AM as he opens his garage door (right outside my window) and then waking up around 7:30 AM for some odd reason. I think another person leaving for work and the family that lives next door but on the first floor that does shit all night long. No joke. I don’t know how many times I have to complain but when it hits midnight, put on your headphones. I purposely stayed up until 1:30 AM last night working on my puzzle. I couldn’t pull myself from it as much as I couldn’t will myself to blog yesterday even when I should’ve.

So, on this Monday, the last day of November I promise I’m going to do six things I need to do until I go back to work or else there is no hope for me. I like to be hopeful and it’s not like I’m preparing to take on a new role. I recently asked someone who the hell would want to be president of the U.S.? They don’t get paid much. Sure, they get the prestige and the power, but seriously, NO. Roughly half the country likes you while the other half despises you. Certain members of Congress will do anything to screw you over and make you look like a dumbass (my new favorite word since 2016). Anyone familiar with the Obama administration will know the lengths Mitch McConnell went to undermine him. Neither Democrats nor Republicans are without fault, but the false narrative of a rigged election is beyond stupid that’s circulating. I said this earlier to someone on FB where Trump won fair and square in 2016, so did Biden in 2020.

Nothing is going to change the outcome of current election. I commend the Republican election officials from many of the swing states for siding with democracy instead of authority. While I am watching the news less than I used to before the election, I’m still watching it because when Biden and Harris are inaugurated in January, the political machine keeps churning. Yes, I am grateful during this fucked up time as I fully believe 2020 needs to be wiped from the history books in some ways, but written words in other ways it needs to be said and printed. It’s been depressing. It’s been tough. I keep having dreams about family members getting divorced (not sure where that is coming from). It boggles my mind how Trump supporters who are on the alt right fringes overlook his support for Israel and Jews. It equally boggles my mind how he became the Messiah of the conservative church leaders. These are all the contradictions I’m working on leaving behind in 2020 when 2021 starts. These are all the thoughts I need to let go right now.

This is similar to how certain things were overlooked during the Obama administration while it happened and critics did hold his feet to the fires he created. Does Washington D.C. need a good shaking up? Yes, it does. Was Trump successful? In some ways but probably not the way Congress and people from all over the world would have liked. He created a lot more instability than needed and for this turned off people who voted from him in 2016. If he had handled COVID differently, I believe he would’ve been re-elected. But here I am without a job, without any federal monetary support (for now), and having to keep my emotions at bay until I’m working again. There is light everywhere I look, sometimes too much because it hurts my eyes, but reality is what everyone is experiencing (in different ways).

I don’t have much to give except find the joy you have currently and accept the love that comes your way because it’s a bitch when it’s not there.

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