Journal Entry Type #113: Beauty or Grotesque at What Cost?

I haven’t gone to Facebook (I mean Metaverse) as much I used to and for good reason. Frankly, I don’t look at much of social media lately. I’ve been too busy watching things on my streaming services and watching a movie here or there. If I had the money, I might do a few nips and tucks on my face as my wrinkles are really showing more these days. Yes, it sort of bothers me but then again it is a part of aging. I’ve only gotten Botox once but that was for medical reasons to help my TMD. It didn’t do crap for my pain, by the way. The reason I’m writing this is for all the focus on physical fitness (U.S. citizens really have a problem with overeating), there is also a major focus on physical looks. The model industry is insane in that you have to be a certain size. I recently read a former Victoria Secret model basically starved herself so she wouldn’t get dropped from the roster and also to stay on the top. I know many women want to be a size 2 or 4 or less but the majority of women in the world are not that size. You’ve heard it all before that it’s better to eat an apple than look like an apple. It’s also better to look like a pear and if you eat a pear, that’s fine too. What got me on the topic of this is one of the many stupid videos FB shows me on my feed? I don’t care about most of them and yet, I watch another video of an animal being rescued. The one I saw the other day was a former Korean model whose face is severely disfigured because of her need to be perfect. She wanted to have the best face ever and even if that meant injecting things in her face no person should ever do. Cooking oil belongs in a pan and black-market silicone belongs nowhere. She will always desire her old face prior to her disfiguration. The issue is she never should’ve gotten to that point in the first place. I would love to get rid of all my fat in my body with one quick cut of the knife, and the scars would add to the ones I already have. I don’t because I’m not that obsessed with my appearance and to me if I do get rid of my fat, I want to do it through hard work. The one thing I will say is a little help is okay as long as it doesn’t go too far. I never thought I’d say this, but I think some people go out of their way to be a little too unique. For example, another video showed up of this man who has gotten body modifications to look like the devil. I’m all for self-expression and doing what you want, but a part me becomes a fuddy duddy. I see pictures of him and ask why? Maybe, I’ve truly grown because the grunge and industrial scene ended over 20 years ago and anyone with horns on his head and looks like a devil is overrated. His fascination with the sinister is authentic, but I wonder what his gravestone will say. There doesn’t seem to be much else to say except be yourself while fully aware of the intended and unintended outcomes. The instant result is often great but later the cost might be too much to comprehend.

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