Journal Entry Type #122: No More Excuses and A Lot of Double Standards

Well, it’s another Wednesday. It’s been 10 days since I’ve written a blog. It’s fitting I should probably write something since WP charged me for another year of using their services, but not that I’ve been using it to the fullest. I’ve been doing a lot of things other than writing like watching James Bond movies (I’m two movies into the franchise), coloring, reading, and watching the Olympics here and there. Bottomline is there aren’t many excuses to why I’m not blogging except to say I was busy hanging out with a relative last weekend and wanting to relax on the weekends.

I’m not as invested in watching the Olympics this year for some reason. I’ve seen a handful of sports. Of course, I’m glad Nathan Chen won the gold medal in men’s figure skating. The guy has mad skills in everything from academia to sports to arts (returning Yale student, plays football too, and strings the guitar and plays piano). I had to shake my head with the reactions of Chinese athletes from the U.S. with their decision to either represent the country they were born in or the country their ancestors came from. They are being called traitors and heroes depending on what country you’re talking about and it’s a damn shame. I can’t remember the last time a U.S. born German athlete got so much flack for representing Germany or any European country for that matter. I guess it’s more of a sin to be an Asian athlete and not represent the U.S. than any European athlete and not represent the U.S. Then when you bring the Russians into the mix especially with their doping issues, it gets really interesting.

So, when this weekend rolls around, I’m going to be making an effort to blog and watch James Bond movies. I’m definitely not going to be recapping the Olympics like I did in 2018. They should speak for themselves. I don’t know it happens, but it seems I have less time now than ever before. Everything is up in the air and I’m wondering how things will work out and where the chips will fall when they land on a hard surface. In the meantime, I’m trying my best to keep things in check (perspective) and be okay with not wanting to write because my mood is not there yet. It goes beyond making the time to write and cuts much deeper. It’s about not having the right feelings to get into the groove. It’s as if I don’t want to cheapen the process of writing authentically because I’m feeling inauthentic when it comes to the heart of my story. I’ve never felt this way before and maybe it’s a good precursor to getting to the core of the issue. How it is realized is unknown and will leave this answer for another day.

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