Journal Entry Type #139: Don’t Be On The Menu

A lot has happened between the last time I wrote and now. It seems forever in an age. I haven’t been sleeping well because of my new apartment neighbors at times. I must be getting used to the talking my neighbors do in the morning. Since I work later in the afternoon, one of my neighbors likes to play the same song over and over again, a bad song I might add, and music I’d rather not hear. I don’t think I’ll be writing much in my bedroom during the day anymore, but when I’m ready to write again, watch out because I’ll be declaring my chair at night. I’ll be dominating it like no butt has ever done before. So apart from all the gun violence in the U.S. and now the overturn of Roe v. Wade, I can’t tell you how much I feel jerked around all over the place. I’m angry (actual feeling is pissed) and should be more surprised when I’m not. After listening to both the Republicans (right) and Democrats (left) or Conservatives and Liberals, it is clear both sides should’ve done more to protect women in specific and humanity in general. I could go on and on about my emotions, feelings, thoughts, ideas, and everything in between about this assault on women. I won’t because this is such a heated topic, but it completely offends me when people talk out of their ass and abide by conspiracy theories. I’ve recently had to hear about it from someone who I know, an acquaintance that soon I will no longer have to see anymore, and this is a good thing. Let me tell you a few stories, conversations, and thoughts I’ve heard from others that have stuck with me for over twenty years.

I used to work with someone who was 30 years older than me and now would be in her late 70s. She was so afraid of women losing the right to choose and have control over their bodies. When Roe v. Wade was no more, she is who I thought of because it felt like she herself had had an abortion or she knew someone who had an abortion. Since I never wanted children, I took precautions to not get pregnant. If by chance it did happen, I would for sure have had an abortion because of my strong belief my biological father lost his right to have his bloodline survive beyond me as well as the fact I didn’t want to take the time to be a parent. The second person I thought of was this mother of a person I knew who belonged in the upper class. She never had to work outside of the home and instead took care of three children. When she got pregnant with her fourth child, she had an abortion because she couldn’t mentally and physically take care of another baby. She felt such shame for this that she never told her daughters about it until they were in their 20s. The third person I thought about was my biological mother and if she had the option, I hope she would have taken the opportunity open to her. It would’ve saved her years of heartache and watching her own children be abused by her husband. This would mean I wouldn’t have been born and neither would my siblings. I would’ve been fine with this (oxymoron, I know since I wouldn’t be alive).

This brings me to something I heard from an advocate not for women’s rights but for something else. She said if you aren’t sitting at the table, you are on the menu. I recently stated this on my FB page that right now sadly many are the meal. All people should be asking themselves, what’s for dinner? Because due to this major fundamental change in the Supreme Court, it’s not a five-course meal we’ve been offered but a bunch of smelly, rotten food from a dumpster. This reversal has long been in the works by many observers who are historians and like-minded political commentators. I stand by the notion Republicans are pro-birth and not pro-life. I also stand by the notion of when rights are taken away, the least powerful (economically and socially) are hurt the most. I also stand by the notion Democrats don’t do enough to coalesce their followers into proving they are worth their weight. It’s not time to get downright vicious but it is time to get your feet and hands dirty in whatever ways you can. If you agree with the Supreme Court, that is your right but let me leave with this, Clarence Thomas is married to a White woman and I’m thankful because believe you me, he would be rooting for making interracial marriages and relationships illegal as well. I will end on that and know politics is a rubber band as described to me by someone who has different political views but care a lot for. Which way it will swing back and at what intensity remains to be seen.