Journal Entry Type #143: Life Gets Busier Not Less So

I’ve been reading a handful of books including a bunch of graduation speeches by Kurt Vonnegut. I need to read more of his work such as his novels. What I’m reading, while I don’t agree with everything he says, I do get where he is coming from (yes, I know you shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition). Now that I’m not in school anymore, I don’t really care unless I’m writing a story of some kind. This isn’t a story of any kind. It’s a journal entry type or blog entry or whatever you want to call it. Someone recently said he wanted to make a T-shirt out of my fascination or maybe addiction to puzzles. I have way too many of them and little time to put them together. The story of my life as it pertains to everything I own: books, movies, tv shows, cups, post cards. Not enough time to read, watch, write, and more. This is my current puzzle I have yet to put together. I’m thinking my retirement plan will still trying to find time to do everything I want to do, those things I didn’t have the time to do while working full time (such as now), and wishing I had the money and fortitude to do what I really want in my life. I wish I could retire right now when in fact I have more years ahead of me of working 40 hours a week unless I take some major risks and put myself out there. Most everyone rewards someone who tries something new, but in the end, it’s just you holding the pieces when it doesn’t work, and I don’t want to be in this situation.

Sometimes, I want to open my own business, but you need all kinds of advertisement, followers, buyers, and sustainability, which I’m not sure I can maintain year after year let alone month after month. This is why starter companies begin in the basement or living room of their house or apartment. Even doing this part time would be nice, but I think good luck trying to find the time to write. I can kiss that goodbye in a heartbeat and all the novels and novellas I’d like to write definitely will NEVER be written. Then again, they aren’t being written now either so maybe I should just take the plunge and open a business online and see where it goes. It might give me something to do while I’m mindlessly watching TV although that doesn’t happen often because most of the time, I’m watching something I really want to see. All I know is despite feeling stuck, there are options for me out there. I maybe have an opportunity to move back to CA next year and sort of want to take that plunge too. Getting back to weather that is not so hot is appealing as well as living closer to the ocean. Jeez, I really miss the ocean or maybe it’s knowing it is close to visit unlike where I live now. I’m trying to find the better slivers of living on Planet Earth and remain positive about my future even though I wish I had a different job that paid more and afforded me more security as my previous job did (in terms of pay). Granted, I definitely wasn’t living in the lap of luxury by any means but hopefully you know what I mean. I’m ending this with two more quotes from Kurt Vonnegut as it rings true today as it did back then when he wrote his speeches.

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