Journal Entry Type #160: What’s the Deal, Julio?

I’m not sure why I titled this blog entry this way. Probably because I couldn’t come up with anything snappy. I thought about Raul Julia, the actor, whom I admire. I also thought about how we are dealt a life often that we don’t want as we get older. I never thought I’d be experiencing this kind of pain in my hands due to probably a little bit of osteoarthritis and for sure rheumatoid arthritis. The bad part of noticing my hands change shape was getting used to the pain although some days are worse than others. I’m type of person to just deal with it and roll with the punches. I’ve been given more muscle relaxing meds that I never took the last time they were prescribed. I try to stay away from pain meds except Advil, but it’s getting to the point of maybe needing something stronger. The NSAIDS prescription I have doesn’t do anything for me because that’s basically for inflammation and according to my blood test, my inflammation is very low. At one point I felt like gluing all my unused pills to canvas and framing it. Too bad most of them are white and other dull colors. I’d rather not see another rheumatologist or pain doctor but I’m looking for more answers I suppose. I hope that with age my arthritis doesn’t get so bad that it’s hard to hold objects or it affects other areas of my body negatively. I admit it’s been difficult to find the energy to do much more than what I’m already doing with this ailment that will never go away. Therefore, I’m going to have to step back from some things I dabble in each month to try to find the energy to write my second and third novels including these JETS. The more I want to consistently write them, the less I’m working on my novels. You get the point and hope you understand. I also add this might change in the next month, but for now I’m sticking to this plan.

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