Pisaries Creator

James and Margaret’s marriage was behind the eight ball and now it was even further because of James’ lateness. Neither one acknowledged the other in the room and not even this new therapist could get them to look at each other.

“Tell me what to say and I’ll say it,” James said.

“You know that’s not how it works,” Audrey said.

“I’m not going to give your mother the satisfaction of throwing my lateness. It’s not my fault two drivers got into a car accident on the way here.”

Audrey was about to say something when the therapist cut her off. “Let me earn my money’s worth. I can take it from here.”

“Sorry.”

“From what I understand, you’ve seen other marriage therapists before and you’re looking for help in resolving the issues you find between yourselves. Am I correct?”

James and Margaret nodded from different sides of the long couch while Audrey nodded from the chair.

“This might sound self-explanatory, but I need to state it anyway. Whether the outcome might be, our sessions will not be beneficial if we aren’t willing to have an open mind with a reasonable amount of understanding. We all need to participate in order for this to work in a civil manner. Do all of you agree with this?

“Yes,” James said.

“I guess, Margaret said.”

“I need you to mean it, not just guess it,” the therapist said.

“Well, I’m doing this more for my daughter but if I’m being honest, I want to give this a try,” Margaret said.

“So that’s yes?”

“Yes, it’s a yes,” Margaret said.

“Great, then let’s begin,” the therapist said. “Now for this first session, I’d like to hear from each of you what you think the main reasons are for why you feel your marriage is suffering. Don’t go overboard with the reasons. I only need a few of them right now.”

“Who’s going to speak first,” Margaret said.

“Since you asked, you can go first,” the therapist said.

“There’re many reasons why our marriage isn’t working. What I think is the main reason we’re not talking is because he uses his job as a way to not spend time with me. James could already be retired but he won’t because he can’t imagine spending every day with me. He avoids me by burying his head into his work.”

“If I didn’t work Margaret, who would pay the bills?”

“How dare you speak to me like that.”

“I didn’t want to bring this out but here we are.,” the therapist said and handed a decorative talking stick to Margaret. “Since I gave this to Margaret, no one but she can talk because she’s the one holding the stick and when she’s done talking, she will

either hand it to the other person or myself who will hand it off”

Margaret twisted the stick in her hand and rested it across her legs.

“I guess that’s it. That’s all I can think of.”

“That’s a good start. Now tell me what would happen if James did retire and spent his days with you. What would that look like?”

“It would be grand. We would be spending time together like we used to do shortly after we were married.”

“Sort of like a second honeymoon.”

“Yes, exactly. We haven’t had much romance in our lives for a while. We could do things that he clearly doesn’t have time for now.”

Margaret paused and stopped talking.

“Elaborate on what things he doesn’t have time for now.”

“I don’t feel comfortable talking about this.”

Margaret willingly gave the talking stick back to the therapist without being prompted. She handed it to James who was chomping at the bit to speak.

“First things first, Margaret’s accusing me of not wanting to spend time with her. This is completely inaccurate. She’s the one who finds excuses not to spend time with me. I invite her to many functions, but she never wants to go out. She hasn’t been to the country club in months.”

“See what I put up with?”

“James has the stick now. Let’s let him speak. What else do you see for the reasons why your marriage is not functioning?”

“I’d say the primary reason for our marriage not working is due to her lack of trust of me. She doesn’t trust me anymore.”

“Can you give us an example?”

“I wanted to fix up one of the chairs in the kitchen that broke, but she wouldn’t let me. All that was needed was a little bit of wood glue and it would’ve been good as new.”

“How did that make you feel when she didn’t want you to do this?”

“Angry. It’s not like she would call someone to fix it.”

“Is there anything else you can think of regarding your marriage?”

“She doesn’t want to say it, but she’s too depressed to even kiss me let alone do anything else.”

The therapist took the talking stick back and rested it against her desk. “Thank you to both of you for following the rules of listening to each other and keeping your interruptions to a minimum. The reasons I heard were all valid and steppingstones to flushing out how both of you will produce a plan together to improve your marriage. It’s easy to blame each other for what has led up to this situation, but the focus from now on will be learning techniques that stray away from blame.”

She handed the talking stick to Audrey.

“I normally don’t include grown adult children into these sessions, but since Audrey was insistent to be here with you for the first session, I would like to give her a chance to speak for a few minutes if that’s alright with the both of you.”

James looked at the therapist with confusion.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Callahan. I’ve counseled many couples a lot harder than you two.”

“I’m not worried but aren’t we going to talk about what each of us said about the other?”

“Trust me, we’ll get there. Give it time. Besides, I’m giving both you and Mrs. Callahan homework before our next session and it will only be with the two of you.” 

Before anyone could respond, the therapist handed the talking stick to Audrey.

“Well, you know how much I want you two to stay together. Both of you deserve each other because I genuinely believe your soulmates. Maybe, it’s dreaming I have any say on your future together but I am your daughter. Both of you know God brought you together for a reason.”

Audrey held back her tears, making eye contact with her parents. “You two mean more to me than anything else. It would tear me apart if you made it official. Plus, if I ever got the chance to meet my biological sister, I want her to know I grew up in a functional family with two loving parents. I know this sounds silly, but I want to give her a good example of an American family. We didn’t have the dog but I had loving parents and everything else.”

Margaret stood and gave Audrey a hug and kiss. When she sat down, her father went to Audrey and did the same except he lingered and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and returned his hug.

After the therapist gave James and Margaret their marriage counseling homework, Audrey stayed behind and spoke to the therapist. There was not much discussed as the therapist held tight to her methods. She told Audrey she needed to discover her parents’ journey in real time and understand their marital issues from their points of view.

She thanked Audrey and assured her she would do her best to guide them in the right direction, but it was ultimately her parents’ choice in which path to take. Their conversation ended with the brutal possible truth: some things aren’t supposed to last forever including marriage.