If you fail, I win.
I wonder why it needs to be this way.
Why must we suffer so?
Can’t there be two winners?
The decision has been made.
I’m left holding misery in one palm and hurt in the other.
Now, I can’t possibly find a way out.
The digging has been done. The bottom smells of decay.
The promise of newness is gone.
But, if we reverse this to you, what would it bring me?
Failure. Loathing. Jealousy. Death.
All those things.
Or, something else I can’t control.
Something I will see, but don’t want to feel.
A toxicity that burns.
If we bring our relationship to greater heights, where will that bring us?
I imagine somewhere deep, somewhere dark.