Watch these movies at your own discretion. I am not responsible for time lost or gained.
Hard Candy (2005) was one I struggled with and thought was overall bad from start to finish. It was casting, story, and pacing all rolled into one. There wasn’t enough suspense to keep me engaged. I understand Hayley’s how to catch a predator mission, but it could’ve been more effective had it focused less on that. I didn’t get a good sense of who had the real power. It seemed to sort of fall into her lap throughout the movie. The ending with Sandra Oh? What a waste. Enough said. It stars Patrick Wilson, Ellen Page, Sandra Oh, Odessa Rae, and G.J. Echternkamp. It is rated R for disturbing violent and aberrant sexual content involving a teen, and for language.
Alone in the Dark (2005) was entertaining to a tiny point, but bad because there’s a supernatural detective in it. What is a supernatural detective? I’ll tell you. This kind of detective finds paranormal subjects and lets them meet their justice. Think about human experimentation, paranormal, and demonic creatures to complete this not very believable story. The door has now opened. It stars Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff, and Frank C. Turner. It is rated R for violence and language.
Daddy Day Care (2003) had decent actors and actresses, but Daddy Day Care versus Chapman Academy is a little far-fetched. It’s clear those in charge wouldn’t have an abundance of parents leaving their children in their care. The good thing about this movie is Eddie Murphy and Steve Zahn but the laughs are few and far between. It also stars Anjelica Huston, Regina King, and Jeff Garlin. It is rated PG for language.
Return to Sender (2015) was okay as it had some promise, but then it completely went off the rails by the end of it. The character’s profession did not match her actions. Sure, there are secrets healthcare professionals have, but not to this extent. Strong beginning, but weak ending. It stars Rosamund Pike, Shiloh Fernandez, Nick Nolte, and Camryn Manheim. It is not rated but has adult material not suitable for children.
Tree of Life (2011) is one I thought I’d like, but didn’t because it was too back and forth without making much sense. I like to consider myself pretty good at understanding concepts in movies, but I needed a little more clarity and direction in this one. Sure, it had spiritual and natural elements, but the ugly wasn’t ugly enough. It stars Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Jessica Chastain, Hunter McCracken, and Fiona Shaw. It is rated PG-13 for some thematic material.
Twilight (2008) is the movie where vampires sparkle and the dialogue includes all the words tweens recognize. Everyone wants to be bitten by Edward and protected by Jacob. Remember the ridiculous looking wig Taylor Lautner wore? I won’t deny I saw New Moon and Eclipse, but I stopped there. What was I thinking? Just think if it wasn’t for this series, there would be no Shades trilogy. It stars Kristen Stewart, Billy Burke, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Kellan Lutz, and Nikki Reed. It is rated PG-13 for some violence and a scene of sensuality.
Stealth (2005) is one I saw in the theater with someone I’ve apologized to bringing him there more than a few times. This movie failed because artificial intelligence danger in the form of an unmanned fighter jet needs a little more substance. Getting shot down in enemy territory still needs something else to accompany it. There just wasn’t enough. It stars Jamie Foxx, Jessica Biel, Josh Lucas, Sam Shepard, Joe Morton, and Wentworth Miller. It is rated PG-13 for intense action, some violence, brief strong language and innuendo.
White Chicks (2004) can’t be taken seriously because look at Shawn and Marlon Wayans’ faces. They are trying to pass as two young socialites in this movie with their zombie like eyes and rubber faces. Even if we are to suspend reality here, it’s about disgraced agents needing to work their way back in the ranks of their agency. I’m okay with this, but less makeup please. It stars Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Jaime King, Brittany Daniel, and John Heard. It is rated PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, language, and some drug content.
Catwoman (2004) was obviously not memorable because I hardly remember it. Therefore, I am putting it into this category. As we all know, comic book fans will rip an adaptation apart if it doesn’t keep the candle lit. What I do remember is her petting a black cat that appears in her apartment and the rest is downhill from there. It stars Halle Berry, Benjamin Bratt, Sharon Stone, and Lambert Wilson. It is rated PG-13 for action violence and some sensuality.
Coyote Ugly (2000) is the movie where liquor, women, and dancing come together and all because a NYC transplant didn’t rocket into a singing career as she hoped. Lucky for us she meets a wannabe record agent and now has to become a bartender. Another important question is how do you afford an apartment in NYC on the salary of a bartender? It stars Piper Perabo, Adam Garcia, Maria Bello, Tyra Banks, Bridget Moynahan, Izabella Miko, and John Goodman. It is rated PG-13 for sensuality.