I spent last weekend going headstrong into my second novel. I decided to change it from first person to third person. Needless to say, I stayed up way too late, past midnight making the changes. I’ve been on a routine that resembles nothing when I had a full-time job. I miss the schedule I used to have. My stupid neighbors still insist on letting their kids stay up all hours of the night. I had to tell a parent I was trying to sleep at 11:30 pm. His kid was whacking shrubbery right outside my window while he was in the garage doing whatever the hell a parent does in the garage at 11:30 at night. They left shortly after I told them I was sleeping, but I was up until 3 in the morning. Have things changed that much where a ten year old doesn’t need any sleep? COVID needs to end so kids can get back into classrooms. My old neighbor who played his music all hours of the night left only to be replaced by obnoxious kids and parents who seem not to give a damn about neighbors. The story of my life.
Then something happened where it disrupted my personal life, what’s leftover during COVID, and I still searching for answers to certain questions about my life. I’ve gotten some but still others don’t make sense and whenever I ask the primary question, the answer still doesn’t make sense. It’s something I’ll have to rectify at another time but it makes me want to scream, like really, really loud. My life goals keep piling up and I need to put some things in perspective. I can tell I’m more stressed out than normal. My eyes are hurting me beyond the usual. The biggest thing on my mind lately is the fact no one lives forever. Someone asked me to do something and it freaked me out a little bit. Death is a part of life. I ended up then deciding to write my own obituary. I might as well get a head start. This person means the world to me and I have a few book ideas I want her to read before she goes. Hence, the pressure I’m feeling and putting on myself. Again, something I need to release because it will consume me like a whale shark consumes plankton. If I get the first draft written by the end of this year or beginning of next year, I’ll be on track. Time to put on my big girl shoes and relax.
I also like to collect birthday cards, post cards, and blank cards. I recently sent this card to someone. Certain things make me feel better about general life and puts thing upright instead of upside down. I call this organizing and doing mundane things most people would find a complete waste of time. I’ve thought about lists I could make, as it gives me a sense of calm, but I don’t want my life to be all about one thing and not have any balance. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to exploring Nevada once COVID ends and after I get my vaccine. It can’t come soon enough. It looks like I won’t be able to get back to work until the summer. I suppose I’ll sign off with the reminder to everyone I have great intentions to write more blogs (the titles already typed up and ready for me to finish). We’ll see if I get them all done but if not, there’s always the next month.