Journal Entry Type #86: These Last Six Days

I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth although it feels like it. My emotions have been all over place since being laid off. Let’s just say I sort of knew it was coming, but when it did, it still felt like a gut punch. I thought I would be retiring at my now former work place. I thought I had finally settled into a job, challenging at times, but something that kept me busy and paid my bills. I suppose it was not to be. I know I’m not the only one who is still looking for a job and there are others from last year still looking for a job. I took a breather from writing and blogging in general because when your life is uprooted, everything else takes a back burner for me. I spent the last six days up all day and night applying to jobs. I was maybe a little too obsessed. My whole system feels out of whack. I guess this is what being unemployed feels like. Ever since I was on furlough, things quite weren’t the same for me. Mentally, I kept the prospect of being laid off out of my mind and thought positive about returning. Yet, even when you’ve accepted reality, it still affects you. Something that was once a part of my life is now officially and forever gone. There is a possible job prospect for me. It’s a job that pays less than what I did before and yet, I hope to be offered this job. It’s a stepping stone or so I’d like it to be. I won’t have as much free time on my hands and will run into the problem of trying to find enough time to fit everything into my schedule, but I’m looking forward to this again. This is all the sentences my brain can string together for today.

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