Random Calendar Info #40

If you find yourself around a river filled with piranhas and needing to cross it because there’s no other way, do it at night because they are less active and walk or swim across quickly but quietly. Don’t step into the water with cuts and sores on your body. Don’t go into the water when they are feeding (duh?).

If you find yourself attacked by an alligator, go for the eyes and nose. If you are approached by an alligator, punch it on the snout or behind the ears to make it back off. If you find any part of you inside its mouth, hit it on the snout again and would say as hard as you can. Bottomline, be careful around them because there’s nothing funny about the death roll.

If you find yourself stuck in a cave, try to get as much space around you by scraping the walls and remove any clothing in any way possible. Flatten your body by exhaling and wiggle your body back and forth to get free. Another good thing is to never go splunking alone and let others know where you are going and how long you expect to be gone.

If you find you need to bind an alligator’s jaws shut and can’t hire someone to do it for you, approach it from behind and make your way up to its head. Press down on the snout until the mouth is closed and hold the mouth shut with your hands. Wrap duct tape around the snout six times and hopefully by someone else near you.

If you find yourself with a sprained ankle, elevate it 18 or more inches above the ground. Wrap a bandage or clothing around your ankle in a figure 8 not too tight but tight enough to be secure. Put ice in a plastic bag and wrap it a few times and place it on the sprain. Do not put it directly on the skin, no matter how tempting it might be.

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