Journal Entry Type #156: Just in Another Form

I recently turned a year older even though in some respects it feels like a few years older. I went home again, well my second home, and went to my dad’s memorial service. I can’t say enough how good it was to see relatives and people who knew my dad. The service was uplifting and sad at the same time. Besides my brother and one of my mom’s friends, I also spoke at the service. The best part of it was seeing photos of family members and friends in different settings with my dad from when he was a baby to when he was in his golden years. I wondered how I would react when one of my parents died in my earlier years. It didn’t change all that much except I cried more than I thought although not as much as others. While I teared up, I knew my dad was in a better place because it was his time to take on a different form. I rest knowing he will always be around and with me even after my death.

Changing subjects to airplanes and angels. Since Southwest has damaged their reputation, I flew on Delta. I might have found my new airline until Southwest catches up to the others. The free movies and complementary headphones (even though they fell out of my ears way too often). The fact they go around twice basically to offer you something to drink. I’m still annoyed the airlines got rid of peanuts, but I guess too many people had an allergy to them. I also guess offering pretzels, almonds, chips, and granola bars are a step above fatty peanuts. I also got hooked onto ginger ale on a plane. Earlier I was going to list the major angels and the attributes of each of them. Not everyone believes in angels and people have different ideas of what constitutes and angel. On a spiritual level, I consider certain past family members (definitely not all) as angels alongside the archangels. I’m a firm believer in past lives and the influence they can have on someone because I’ve experienced it before and still am in some ways.

Experiencing the death of someone I cared about as an adult is new to me. It’s taken on a different kind of loss as when I lost someone I loved (as much as I could comprehend) as a child. From all of this, I learned we all do our best with what we were given. I’m currently reading a book (as I had to read the first five chapters for work) and need to take it upon myself to read the remaining chapters. This part focuses on ways to improve yourself in your life whether it be your professional or personal life. Since my dad’s death, I’m trying to find the energy reserves within me and the drive to improve the parts of my life that have been lagging. I’m hoping I find a new kind of purpose in life, maybe just a renewed purpose in life. I know he won’t be the last person to die, to make an impact on those he knew, but in this concept called the cycle of life and death, we each own a little bit.

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