A Look Back at My Short Lived Gaming Life

I’m not one to sit down and play video games although I do live with someone who can spend hours trying to finish one game.  The first computer game I ever played was The Oregon Trail in school.  It was a kind of educational game where you learn about the pioneering days and how treacherous it could be.  I have yet to read my book about the Donner family that had to resort to cannibalism.  They didn’t include that in the game.  It was often the game ended due to misfortunes such as loss of supplies or getting sick with diseases.  I don’t think I ever made it Oregon alive.  I kept dying.  Good thing it was only a game but check out those early graphics.

The next game to play was the popular craze of Nintendo when it came out in the 1980s.  The combination of Duck Hunt and Excitebike and then the original Super Mario Bros. game was all we had before both my brother and I lost interest.  It sat in the cupboard for a long time until my parents got rid of it years later.  I played more Excite Bike and Super Mario Bros. than Duck Hunt.  I got the furthest in Super Mario Bros.  I didn’t know all the tricks but I learned to wait for the eating plants to disappear before going down the green cylinder and I never was able to pass by the fire breathing dragon.  The sound effects when you wiped out on your bike sounded like a fart.  It was priceless. 

The one game I was semi decent at was JezzBall.  We are now in the early 1990s period of my life.  I loved playing this game.  Seeing how many balls I had to dodge and get at least 75% of the board cleared.  Those red and white balls ate up a lot of my time.  I think I got up to 15 or 17 balls.  I can’t remember.  Good times. 

I knew this game as Pipe Dream although it had the original name of Pipe Mania.  This  MS Windows game was all the rage.  I wasn’t so good at it because of the limited time to put down pipes to catch the green sewer slime.  The problem was you had to click on the pipe with your mouse to be in the right direction or bypass it.  That eats up time and with each passing second, I saw more green splats than I care to admit.

We are finally into the 21st century with FarmVille.  I can’t believe I ever played this game.  Let me repeat, I can’t believe I ever played this game.  I grew non-existent crops on a non-existent farm.  I suppose since I was in my early 30s at the time, I felt I needed to do other things besides this.  It wasn’t advancing my mental capacity in any way although I suppose plowing, planting, growing, and harvesting crops is much easier online than in person.  There’s that aspect of it for those who have no ambition to be farmers in real life but interested to give it a go online.  I learned about it on MySpace.  Anyone remember that social media platform?  Tom from Myspace, co-founder, is now 49 years old and living comfortably as a travel photographer. 

The same goes for Candy Crush Saga and unlike FarmVille, I actually spent my hard earned money to get more turns trying to crush candy.  Again, what was I thinking?  I was still living in LA and the only thing I can say is it must have warped my brain.  I might have spent money on it because every freaking type of candy in this game is my kryptonite.  I love licorice, especially black, although I see chocolate came in later versions.  I can give or take on chocolate.  It was cool to see the rows and columns shuffle and onto the next turn.  I admit it was addictive, at first, but I no longer play it.

The only game I downloaded on my iPhone was Angry Birds.  I’m still on level one called Poached Eggs.  I play it once in a while when I’m waiting for something and have nothing else to do.  Between the birds and pigs flying in the air, I find this game more trouble than not.  I never hit it at the right spot to knock down the wooden barriers to get to the points.  The rocks pile on top of each other to prevent me from ever moving forward. I’ve had to rely on my roommate to unlock the padlock so I can get to the next game.  It’s by far the most frustrating game but the game I’ve played the most.  However, I do like the movies.

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And the games I played once or twice or not at all within the past five years.

Left for Dead: I went up the stairs and was too scared to go into the room due to the shadows on the walls.  I frankly don’t care what people think.  That was some scary shit.  The graphics were too real for me.

Call of Duty: Black Ops III: I actually went into a room but I was killed by zombies about 30 seconds into it.  No more.  Game over.  I’m done.

Katamari Damacy: I rolled up all kinds of stuff and it was okay but due to holding the controller so hard and trying not to lose all the pieces I rolled up, my fingers and hands got sore.  I can’t play this game for too long.

Mario Kart: The same thing I held the controller so hard that my fingers hurt and besides the game plays dirty. I know the other racers are supposed to get in your way, but jeez, dirty birdy programmed tricks. 

Trauma Center: New Blood: I was told I’d like this game.  It’s pretty easy.  Jeez, don’t ever sign me up for emergency surgery (if I had the brains to be a surgeon).  I don’t think I could keep a steady hand.  Watching me put stitches into a patient was painful to watch.  I’m surprised the patient was still alive by the end.

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And there are you have it.  My short lived gaming life.  I’m not a gamer but live with one.  He has games and consoles all over the place.  When he’s spending hours on his games, I’m spending hours on my stuff.  Does he wish I would game more?  Sure but you know what, each to his or her own.