So Far 2018 According to Pisaries Creator

OFF WITH A BANG

rundynamite

Eat Better

Lose Weight

Travel More

Get a New Hobby

Spend Time with Family

Volunteer/Donate

Pay Debts

Find Love

Save Money

We’ve all heard the common New Year resolutions. Every year they creep into our minds only to leave our minds before January ends. It looks great on paper. Some even write them down. I do before the New Year hits, and then every month to see if I’m on point, and 2017 I was off point more than on. Yes, things happen to get in the way along your path, but as we all know, you must keep moving forward. While I will always have specific resolutions and/or goals, I realize there’s something more important to focus on and it’s something within myself in 2018.

Because I’ve done quite a bit of promising something over and over and over again and often not committing to it or doing it in a timely manner, I realize I’m married to the word “promise” instead of the word “performance” when it comes to my personal life. I’ve done mind games, if you will, to shock my brain into a new way of thinking, in the hopes I will be able to view the action it takes to achieve my resolutions/goals as something natural and essential versus something forced and pointless. There are times I feel as if I’m a robot just going through the motions to get to my goals. I’d like to get away from this feeling completely, but being a human being comes with stubbornness. It takes time to change the way one thinks.

headwheels

People often need to hear more than “take control” or “just do it” for it to sink in and then set in permanently. People have such a hard time with the top two resolutions of losing weight and exercising because the mental urgency and necessity isn’t there even when our body appearance and ailments tell us otherwise. It’s as if many of us are just trying to hang onto life by a thread, and therefore, junk food and sugary drinks are the only things bringing us the little comfort we seek. Yet, in the long run it proves to be more troublesome. Instant gratification comes to mind. We live in a society of “I want it now” instead of “I want it when the time is right.” I’ve done this before, both bad eating and impatience, when I’m not in the right mindset. Most all of us have all been there because humans are complex.

Resolutions and goals are good tools to use, but using them in the right way is necessary if they are to work at their best optimum. We walk a fine line between hopes and dreams on one side and despair and heartache on the other. How do you navigate when mentally you see parts of your life resemble a scene out of a bad horror movie? How do you pull yourself up by the bootstraps and not just live but really LIVE? How do you prevent falling further into the traps of the past? These are the questions I ponder as I’m gaining another year. I offer no easy solutions because there are none. Yes, there are some anomalies, but most of us are in the middle of the pack.

goal

Life has never been “easy” for me. I’ve been through hell and back, and this was all before I was even adopted. Then, I spent the next thirty years trying to get back what I lost as as child, regaining some back, and other things will never be restored. The last eleven years is when I did the most personal growth, but it’s been hard at times. It takes damn hard work to be brutally honest with yourself. It takes even harder work to realize it isn’t all one person’s fault. There comes a time when you need to take responsibility for your beliefs and actions. I’m gaining even more acceptance of my shortcomings, forgiveness for those who betrayed me, and distancing myself from people and/or places that are toxic. As my head rests on my pillow, no one knows what is best for me except me (to an extent).

While there are some goals I didn’t accomplish in 2017, I intend to work weekly on them to get to that point of completion in 2018. Wishing and wanting something fall into your lap without any kind of work isn’t how it’s done. There are times what you want doesn’t happen. There are times what you try to prevent does happen. You need to be prepared for disappointment. I definitely learned this and accepted it (to an extent). You better love doing whatever you’re doing because the ultimate reality might be different from your vision. Let’s face it that life is tough, but this doesn’t mean you don’t go out there and give it your all. You should for many reasons. I know I am in 2018.

wheregoing

I leave this on a lighter note with a fashion no no. I learned while watching the news of a trend in 2017 I hope turns into a fad really soon. Since I’m past 40 now, fashion has to be practical for me, but not that I was ever a fashionista. These jeans aren’t practical. The Clear Knee Mom Jean? This is just stupid. Please make these plastic jeans go away. They aren’t attractive by any means. Now that I’ve said my peace, go out and by some jeans, but please NOT these.

clearkneejean

 

cwhite2018


Poem: What Could Have Been

What Could Have Been

What are the odds?

Not very high. 

I told myself this over and over.

It must be difficult to know you lost out on something.

Yes, it stings a little bit, but all the time people lose.

Some lose something small. 

Some lose something big.

It is easy to let it fester.

Stay up all hours of the night. 

What was the meaning of this? 

Am I not seeing something there? 

Is this is another lesson?

Why did I miss it? 

What do other people do?

Because I only feel numbness.

This is a screwed up way to teach me a lesson.

I wasn’t told these kinds of things would happen.

I wasn’t given the choice that life would get harder instead of easier.

I wasn’t told many things.

I find myself not so hopeful.

It is sad I might never be reunited with the might have been.

It is downright a gloomy prospect.

I am not sure where to place my feet now.

It scares me more than I am admitting.

The sun rising or setting does not comfort me like it once did.

This kind of repetition gets old.

Will the sun stop rising and setting at some point?

Will it disappear?

I am not feeling like I once was.

I am not feeling much at all.

The odds were very high this time.

There had to be another way.

There simply was not.

cwhite2018

 

Book Recommendations: The Four Agreements and The Mastery of Love

My mom gave me The Four Agreements, then I bought The Mastery of Love, and still need to read The Fifth Agreement.  I can, obviously, only comment on the first two books.  They are a fast read in the sense they are short and font is fairly big, but it takes longer to really digest the information.  I should make the time to read them again because it allows you to slow down your mind in a fast moving world.  You have to be aware of your surroundings for survival, but not everything is a competition in life.  It will help you reset, refocus, if you will.

The Four Agreements offers a way to get outside of your head, gain insight about yourself and others, and find the things that make you happy in life so you are living a sustainable, positive life.  With all the doing and going, this book isn’t going to solve all your problems.  I saw it a stepping stone to make your life a little easier, at least mentally.  While you might not agree with all of his philosophy, I do recommend it. 

The Mastery of Love focuses on the inner workings of relationships, including your relationship with yourself.   They are complex for most of us and sometimes bitterly so and not just romantically.  You will not find easy fixes in this book either, but you will gain knowledge and perspective if you read it.  This is all I have to say about this author and his books.  Check out the links below to learn more or buy them on Amazon.  I know I look forward to reading The Fifth Agreement this year.

Happy Reading Everyone!!!

The Four Agreements

The Mastery of Love

The Fifth Agreement

cwhite2018

 

Trifecta #2

Image of the Week

This kid probably has a set of lungs deep and wide.  It’s a cool picture no matter what his background might be.

singingchild

Word of the Week

This was another random word from the dictionary.  Leave the vegetables and eggs, but I’ll skip the rest.  Next word will probably have more popularity.

salmagundi

Video of the Week

I picked GloZell doing the cinnamon challenge.  She had no idea what it was  about and gave it her all.  She needs to stick to painting because it looks like a nice painting from what I see.  I hope she didn’t get water on it.

cwhite2018