Journal Entry Type #47: Dating? Who Needs It? Not Me!

Is it Thursday already? Has four days gone by without blogging? Yes and yes. What have I been doing in these four days? The usual of working (as most of us know takes up much of our time) and then when I am done with work, I admit I’m finding myself too tired mentally and physically to blog or do much of anything else. It really feels as if I’m fighting an uphill battle right now with motivation and the courage/whatever else it is to have consistency. I sometimes feel as if my life is a revolving door and in many ways it is: waking up, eating, working, more eating, more working, and a lot of the same after work. I’ve been excited to blog about certain topics and others not so much that I once had excitement for and lately having the issue of ending my sentences with prepositions. The thing most writers of the past and what I learned in school that it is wrong. It is a major grammatical wrong. Sort of like beginning a sentence like this or using the word ain’t. My favorite saying when it comes to the word “ain’t is this: “aint, ain’t a word.” Someone must have said that to me along time ago and it stuck. The same goes for when my teacher in middle school questioned why I said “hate” instead of “dislike.” Her stance was it was such a word with strong meaning behind it.

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Okay, so back to dating. I’ve been there. I’ve done it. I’ve had disastrous dates. I’ve had dates that ended pretty quickly. I’ve had ones that never went past the first one. I thought I’d live my life as a single person and die equally as a single person. Then, I moved to CA for a much different reason but left CA with the person I met there. It is just the way it happened. I’m not getting into the belief that everyone has a soul mate because I’m not sure where I stand on the matter. I haven’t given it that much deep thought. I know one of my past professors thought human beings randomly picked someone as their mate. Basically, there was nothing special to picking someone, like random balls bouncing off one another, and even more random sticking to another ball/person. Once I find myself single, I probably won’t want to go on a date or be with someone again. I’m hoping I’m old and wrinkly at this point but it takes a lot of energy and time to date and get to know someone. Some people like the excitement of first meetings and the butterflies in your stomach with anticipation. It’s a good feeling to have but as with anything good, the opposite bad can happen.

All you have to do is watch any given TV show about terrible dates such as Who the Bleep and Dates from Hell to know some people have bad intentions. The ones that stick out to me because I’ve seen the stories on more than one crime show is Mark Twitchell (the filmmaker that wasn’t) and Philip Markoff (the Craigslist Killer). As I watched them, I was so thankful I ended up with a person who gives me space, lets me do my own thing, and doesn’t have a need to be glued to my side all the time. The reality is over the years we’ve gotten even closer despite spending less time together for a variety of reasons. We both work at home, we have our own interests, and we don’t want to be in each other’s faces all the times. Even when we worked in separate places, we still spent more time alone than together. I firmly believe couples need to have their own identity and while this may be a non brainer statement, some don’t have that luxury or separation. I’ve tried the online dating thing way back when and I ended up meeting a friend out of the whole experience. I’m not sure if I’ll ever do the single and mingle thing again, but I stand by the view of nothing is forever, not even marriage. With this in mind, I prefer to keep my independence as much as possible but having the ability to rely on particular someone is good too.

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So my short, dating advice is this. If you want to date someone who others view as a freak, so be it. If you want to date someone younger (not too young) or older than you, whatever floats your boat. If you want to do something you’ve never done before on a date (obviously killing and hurting someone isn’t applicable), do it. The bottom line is do what makes you feel good about yourself. Be careful but not so extreme that everyone is a predator or greedy. If the latter half of my life is how I envision it to be, I hope never to date again. If I ever find myself on the dating scene, I wish myself good luck. Anything can happen either way. I suppose this leads to more simple advice of just living and seeing what happens.

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