Journal Entry Type #27: What’s the Real Debate Here? Should There Even be One? NY Resolutions Anyone?

gingerbreadNot too long ago, I asked my mom to send me two books from my “original bedroom.”  The one still in the MN with a lot of my belongings still there.  I loathe for the day when my parents sell the house as they did recently with their cabin.  I don’t have the space to store my things anywhere and I’m not going to get rid of books and other keepsakes.  I told her sell a wooden rocking chair I don’t even remember that was mine, given to me by a family friend who came here from Germany as a child during World War II.  While I would have loved to keep it, I parted with it and got 75 dollars.  It’s already been cashed and spent.  It got me to thinking about one of the books she sent me.  I dove into it last night instead of watching more Orange is the New Black.  Great show by the way.  I can’t believe I didn’t get invested into it when it first came out although some of it is not realistic in any way. The book I started reading is written by Whoopi Goldberg.  It’s the kind of book I want to write when I’m much older.   I’m rereading parts of it as I stopped reading it in 1998.  I seem to have this problem of buying books, reading them halfway through, or not reading them at all.  Surprisingly, I remember reading basically every page over 21 years ago, soon to be 22 years ago.  I also am thinking of what I want to do to better myself as I did last year with New Year Resolutions.  I have to say I only lost some weight and definitely not all I wanted.  I didn’t eat better or less out of the 12 months or else I would’ve lost all my weight.  I did spend time with my family, paid more debts, found a deeper appreciation for my roommate/partner, and saved money.  I really didn’t get a new hobby, travel more, or get out in nature as much as I wanted.  I plan on fulfilling some of these things when my parents visit in February and yes, that’s a gingerbread cookie my mom sent me (one out of a bag full).

starbucks4Back to the topic at hand, the 2019 winter and the holidays.  I’ve never been too much into holidays.  There’s the food my parents cooked when I lived closer to them and the presents were nice, but I never really adhered to Christianity.  I sort of want to be true to my beliefs, but I never pass down money which my parents give me every year.  They basically give me what I ask for, which is money.  If anything I find inspiration and advice from many different religions out there: Judaism, Buddhism, and even Shamanism.  Only until the last ten years did I truly make it a part of my life, well sort of in a way.  I don’t attend any services no matter what religion.  This is why when the whole Starbucks fiasco, which wasn’t even Starbucks fault, happened with their cups that I thought people really have lost their minds.  I’ve never seen more backwards, hating individuals today based on religion and their texts.  Christianity and Islam come.  This is what I thought when the ultra religious people started complaining on social media about their cups.  Don’t you have better things to be concerned about? (the respectful thought).  Who gives a flying fuck what’s on the cup?  At least you have money to afford a cup of Starbucks coffee?  And I see it’s a Venti too!  Great!  Buy one for the homeless person you saw earlier!  (the sarcastic thought including wanting to respond with shut the fuck up but that would get me nowhere).  You don’t see me throwing a fit because Judaica cups aren’t offered with Magen Davids (Star of David), dreidels, and menorahs.  Even better, you don’t see me waging a social media war about ice tea.  Why can’t there be Merry Tea on their cups?  Or Happy Tea but with blue and white?  Represent ice tea for once.

What my point is that out of the four designs, I only have seen one and I usually don’t get one at all because the company is money conscious as they should.  They don’t decorate Trienta cups with holiday motifs.  Where am I going with this?  I’m not really sure except to say chill the fuck out, people.  I get you have a right to be upset, but put things in perspective.  It’s not easy to do, but this is one of those times.  As much as I would love to be able to get ahead in life (earn more money, not have to pay bills, not have to pay my loan, and be able to afford better things and take more vacations), I could if I didn’t drink so much damn ice tea but more I didn’t have my stupid loan.  But reality is reality and I have my stupid loan that will be paid off when I’m in the mid 50s and I won’t stop drinking ice tea no matter how hard I try.  I’m giving myself the courtesy of still having it in 2020 while cutting out other things that continue to not make me lose weight.  I’m reading more and more that older people more are watching what they eat instead of exercising all the time.  I’m beginning to see their point and advice.  These are the things I need to work on as well as resuming all these doctor visits I put on hold.

sweaters2019.jpgSo, it’s almost the end of the year again.  This time 2019 instead of 2018.  I’m not watching any holiday movies this year.  I’m not traveling this year.  I’m not making cookies.  I might make chocolate covered pretzels, but on my time.  I haven’t put up a tree for years nor will I ever.  I don’t drink egg nog, which I think is gross.  I don’t have anything planned.  You could call me the Scrooge.  I don’t put up a Menorah as I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it until I actually converted to Judaism.  It probably won’t ever happen because while this is the religion I’m most tied to (based on some long ago past genealogy and present feelings), there are too many things I want to accomplish in life.  Organized religion is not for me.  For being such an independent and like my own space kind of person, it’s a miracle I went to visit my brother last year at all.  Whether it be Merry Chrismukkah or whatever else people adhere to, I may not be the most consistent blogger out there.  But, I definitely am fairly honest and have no problem with saying I’m an evolving freak of nature at times.  And yes, that is a picture of me trying to emulate those ugly sweaters you see on people during the holidays.  See, I’m not serious all the time.  Charge ahead in 2020! It’s not only the summer Olympics, but many new things are around the corner like warmer weather and hopefully a vacation squeezed in there somewhere (for me at least).  Like I keep saying to myself, there’s more than enough for me to do every year.

Happy Holidays Everyone!


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